Bird necklace
by NtIU
Summary: After "Time Bomb", the team helps Ryan clean up his things. The content of an old box of his stirs up unexpected memories from the past for Horatio. NO H/R slash. No spoilers. H/OC some RaiN later in the story.
1. Chapter 1

**So I deleted my Criminal Minds fic due to a resent accident that almost cost my dearest friend and fellow CM fan her life. While she's still at the hospital, I'm not feeling for continuing the fic, considering that my made up character, Anna, was loosely based on her. However, that doesn't stop me from writing another CSI: Miami fic. God knows, I need something fun to do. There is some H/OC slash later in the story, but I don't really know how serious yet so I'm keeping the rating on T for now. As always, I love to hear reviews!**

**Summary: After "Time Bomb", the team helps Ryan clean up his things. The content of an old box stirs up unexpected memories from the past for Horatio.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: Miami or the characters belonging to the show (yet), but I do own my own character Amanda.**

"No, not there!" Ryan said while approaching Walter. "Just sit down, I'll fix it." He took the items in his friend's hands and went away to put them on their right place.

"Ok…" Walter sat down next to the rest of the team in front of the television and took a beer from Eric.

"I don't know why you even bother." Natalia said, shaking her head.

"Well, we **are** here to help him clean up the mess we made." Walter pointed out.

"The guy is OCD, so no matter how much we try, to him, we're always going to do it wrong. So why bother?"

"If you guys knew he wouldn't let us help, why did we come here?" Jesse asked from beside Horatio.

"Because, friends help each other out."

"But, like you said, we're not helping." Jesse said.

"Yeah, but we tried. So technically, we're good friends. At least that's what he will think." Eric said, a big grin on his lips.

"That's… Actually, that's kind of smart." Walter admitted and leaned back in the couch, taking a sip from the beer.

"I know."

"Hey, you guys, I just found the strangest box on my way to the bathroom." Calleigh said, walking in with a big brown box that looked as If it was about to fall apart at any minute. "Look, it's filled with pictures made by children. And photos of a kid and seemingly his mother."

"Are you telling me that you've got a box filled with embarrassing photos with Ryan as a kid?" Eric said, suddenly looking much more interested.

"Well, I haven't seen anything embarrassing yet but I've only seen some of the contents…" Callegh was interrupted by Eric quickly taking the box from with everyone gathering around her.

"Oh, look. He's so cute." Natalia said, taking up a photo of a seemingly three years old Ryan sitting and playing with his toys.

"Wow, look at this!" Callegh said suddenly, showing them a black velvet box holding a sparkling necklace that had a blue bird attached to it.

"It looks really expensive! I wonder why Ryan keeps it in this box." Natalia stared at the necklace with big eyes.

"Miss Duquesne, may I take a look at that?" Horatio said, reaching after the necklace.

"Yeah sure." she handed it over to Horatio just as Ryan walked in.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Looking through your stuff." Eric said casually.

"Yeah, nice hat cowboy!" Jesse took out a photo of five years old Ryan dressed in a cowboy suit riding a little horse, getting everyone, except for Horatio and Ryan, to laugh.

"Hey, where did you get that?"

"From this box."

Ryan looked down in the box and seemed to immediately recognize it.

"That's mom's old stuff." he murmured. "It's all I've got left of her." The sad look on Ryan's face got all of them to stop snickering.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Ryan. I just saw the photo on the top and got curious. I mean, wouldn't you?" Callegh said, smiling weakly at him.

"I don't know, I've never seen the contents." Ryan admitted.

"Really, why not?"

"Well, my mother died when I was eight, while we were living in New York. After her death, I had to move to Boston to live with my dad and my stepmother and their kids. I didn't have time to collect so much of my stuff before we went, so my uncle Ron filled two boxes with some of her things and sent them to me. They were kept in the basement, and later in a storage room until I finished college and got my own place. I've kept them in the spare room ever since."

"And you've never looked inside either of them?"

"No, it brought back to many painful memories of the day she died." He reached out and took up a badge from the box. "Did you know she was the first female lieutenant in the NYPD." he said proudly.

"Wait, your mother was Amanda Wolfe? I've read all about her! She died when her car was rammed by some members in a drug cartel whose boss she'd recently arrested. Her husband and her two years old daughter died with her in the car, but her eight years old son, who was also in the car, survived miraculously after the paramedics…" Callegh stopped, seeing everyone's faces. "Oh."

"Yeah…" Ryan murmured, followed by an awkward silence. "H, what are you holding?" he asked suddenly, seeing his boss with the velvet box in one hand and a note in the other.

"Oh, we found a necklace in the box. It's really beautiful." Natalia informed him.

"Let me see that." Ryan reached out to Horatio and the redhead politely gave him the box with the necklace and the note.

"The note was under the cushion holding the necklace up." he explained. Ryan nodded and read eyed the note:

_Happy birthday Amanda,_

_Love Harry_

"Harry, was that her husband?" Natalia asked after reading the note over his shoulder.

"What? No. Uncle Harry was mom's coworker. I remember him because he used to look after me when mom had to work." Ryan mumbled.

"Considering the note and the necklace, he seemed to be more than just a coworker." Natalia said smilingly.

"Oh, he was." Callegh gave him a surprised look. "Let's just say that the walls of our old apartment were very thin." Ryan's face immediately turned pink when the rest of the group started laughing. "But she dumped him for Jack, who she later married. I remember that too because they had the biggest argument about it. I mean, mom and dad used to have big arguments whenever he found the time to actually visit me, but the thing with Uncle Harry was worse. My mom actually cried after he left. It was the only time I'd ever seen her cry." Ryan seemed to be lost in his memories and everyone decided to leave him alone with the box, retaking their places in front of the television.

Horatio was the only one not laughing to the jokes on the TV. He kept his gaze at Ryan, who was tucking away the necklace, struggling not to point out the resemblances between him and H's first love:

Amanda Wolfe.

**I feel a little obliged to mention this: English is not my first language, that's you might find the story a little messy with spelling a grammar mistakes. I tried to run it through my spell checking program, but since my computer is ancient it didn't really help that much.**

**Next chapter will probably be a flashback. Most of my story will, but there will also be part in the present.**

**As always: Please R n R : )**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fun fact: The idea of this story came to me after I watched a rerun of the episode "Under the influence". In the end of that episode Horatio tells Calleigh that Ryan "has it in his blood". Then I saw the commercials to Blue Bloods and my mind clicked! Well, actually I bumped my head to the wall while leaning back, but still. I figured the statement meant that someone in Ryan's family was, or had been, a cop. And since I'm all for girl power I made it to be his mother :P.**

**Summary: After "Time Bomb", the team helps Ryan clean up his things. The content of an old box stirs up unexpected memories from the past for Horatio.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: Miami or the characters in the show (yet), but I do own my own character Amanda. And my storyline. (My friend says I have to write this in every chapter. Don't know why though.)**

_Flashback_

"_This is the New Work Police Department, how can I help you?"_ Rookie officer Horatio Caine heard the receptionist say to a visitor when he walked in to the department. He hadn't been out of the academy for long and was still getting used to everything. Becoming a cop, he had always thought that his biggest issue would be fighting the criminals. Little did he know that the rest of the cops were just as dangerous. Which toes not to step on, which people not to mess with and who you could ask for help, and who you most definitely couldn't, wasn't something you learned in the academy.

Luckily for Horatio he was very good at "figuring people out", as his mother would have put it. And with a little help from fellow rookies and some of the friendlier old officers, he'd managed to stay on everyone's good side, making a lot of friends in the process.

While changing in the locker room with some of his coworkers he heard a few older cops whisper close by.

"Wolfe's coming back today. Should be here by lunch. Better watch out!" one of them said. The second man mumbled something back, but Horatio couldn't really hear what. A third man took the word and Horatio managed to catch a few words "Kid, death, anger problems, stay out of the way…"

"Yeah, I don't want to end up like Emerson!" the first man said and then they walked away.

"Who's Wolfe?" Wilson asked curiously, revealing that he too had heard the conversation.

"I don't know, but my the looks of it it's not a person you want to mess with." Herm answered and shrugged. They walked out of the room and managed to jump in to Sergeant O'Connell who greeted them happily. O'Connell was known for knowing pretty much everyone. If you had a question about any person; cop, politician, pop-star, you could ask him and get the answer in the heartbeat. It wasn't that O'Connell wasn't trustworthy, he was just terrible on keeping things for himself.

"Hey, Jack." Herm said to the sergeant. "What do you know about someone called Wolfe?" Jack's smile suddenly fell.

"You know that I'm not the person to keep things for myself, but the last thing I want is to have Wolfe pissed at me." He shook his head and started walking down the hall. The officers, who were now undyingly curious, immediately followed.

"Why not?" Wilson asked.

"Looks guys. There is one thing, and one thing only that you need to know about Wolfe. And that is the unwritten rule we have about the lieutenant." O'Connell said, stopping in his tracks.

"Which is…?"

"Do not, I repeat; do **not** mess with lieutenant Wolfe. At least not if you're planning on having a family in the future."

"You're kidding, right?" Horatio said, attempting a smile that immediately fell when he saw the sergeant's serious expression.

"Trust me, I'm not kidding. And if you don't believe me, just go and see Emerson." And with that O'Connell walked away, leaving the rookies to for themselves imagine what had happened to poor Emerson.

While on their way out for lunch the trio, together with a few other officers, noticed a woman coming in through the doors, carrying a car seat with a child straddled in it. It wasn't an unusual sight, people walked in and out all the time. Maybe she was one of the cop's wife, visiting her husband?

But still, for some reason, almost every head turned in her direction when she walked in. It was just something about her that made you stare. The magical moment broke quickly though, and everyone went back to what they were doing. Everyone except Horatio.

The woman had dark hair and hazel eyes. She was tall and skinny. Or, not skinny per say. She had a few curves, the most flattering ones being her big breasts and ass, but she still showed signs of a woman who had lost a lot of weight in a very short time. Of course, that wasn't so strange considering that she seemingly just had a child. The woman looked like she was about five, six years older than Horatio, give or take. She had dark marks under her eyes and her hair was untidy. So were her clothes, which were hanging rather loosely on her body, supporting his weight loss theory.

She was just a normal woman coming in with her child.

Still Horatio Caine, a man who had occupied his summer with a bunch of models his roommate had set him up with, couldn't stop thinking that he was right at that moment staring at the most beautiful woman on the planet.

**So I wrote this chapter in the middle of the night while on an adrenalin rush I'd gotten by hearing that my friend had finally woken up at the hospital. It's probably a little blurry and stuff but right now, some food and sleep later, I don't really want to change it. I'm afraid I'll ruin the chapter, or as my dear friend Anna would have put it: messed up the feeling of the chapter. So here it is. R n R away!**

**PS: As you probably have already figured out I don't know much about police rankings and what they do depending on their rank, no matter how many cop shows I've watched (CSI: Miami, CSI, CSI: Las Vegas, Criminal minds, Bones, NCIS etc.). I guess they're right saying that I should work on keeping my attention on one thing :P. Any way, if you feel for it, don't be afraid to point out my mistakes. I'm open to criticism and I have to learn somehow.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So this is in present time, a little while after the box incident. The lab has already been attacked and Jesse's dead (sadly). They've just wrapped up a case and are ready to go home.**

**Thanks for the reviews! And by the way, the point of the last chapter was for it to be kind of a quick introduction to the characters : ). And thanks for clearing out the police rankings. The point with making Amanda a lieutenant was for her to be able to boss Horatio around a little bit. If they had the same rank he'd have no reason to listen to her, and that kind of makes some of the things I've planned for the story impossible. I also wanted the cops in the story to respect/be afraid of her not only because she sometimes physically lashed out on them, but also because she had more "power" than them as she had a higher ranking. Lieutenant was obviously a bit of a stretch. But at least now I know for next time.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or the characters. I do however own my own characters and plotline.**

Ryan closed his locker and was surprised to see Natalia sitting on the bench close by. How could he not have noticed her coming in?

"Hey, you ok?" he asked carefully and sat down beside her.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking." she mumbled.

"About…? Or am I not allowed to ask?"

"It's stupid really."

"Come on Natalia, you're talking to me. Whatever you say can't be more stupid than everything I've managed to blurt out over the years." Natalia laughed and shook her head.

"How you always make me smile, Wolfe. Ok, the thing is that this Carl, you know the guy in the case, he took the blame for Johnson's death in order to keep Emily, who was the real killer, out of jail. And I just couldn't stop thinking that: what idiot would voluntarily go to prison for the rest of his life to protect a woman who wasn't just a murderer, but who also probably didn't even love him back?" Natalia said shaking her head.

"Come on Natalia, we've seen stranger things than that. Remember the computer guy, who killed for a girl he'd never even met? People simply do crazy things when they're in love."

"Oh no. **That** was not love. I know what love is, I saw it every day while growing up. My parents were in love, these people are just crazy."

"Well, I wouldn't really know. My parents hated each other. The few times dad came by to visit while I was still living with mom, they hade ground shaking arguments. Scared the hell out of our neighbors."

"Yeah, you mentioned that. I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's no big deal. I got a fair look at love while growing up."

"You mean from your father and stepmother?"

"Hell no. They hated each other too." Ryan chuckled.

"You mother and stepfather?"

"Well, they were close enough. But I was actually referring to my mom and uncle Harry."

"Oh, the man who gave her the bird necklace."

"Yeah." And to Natalia's surprise, Ryan reached in to his pocket and took out the necklace. "You know how all the memories from your childhood are blurry, but then there are a few that are so clear that they could have happened yesterday?" he mumbled carefully.

"Ehm, yeah…"

"Well, the looks on my mother's face when Harry gave her this necklace is one of them. **That** was pure and undying love."

"Then why did they break up?"

"I was six years old, how the hell was I suppose to know?"

"Good point."

"I can't figure out what I'm suppose to do with this thing though." Ryan said and looked back at the necklace. "I mean, it means a lot to me and I love having it around. It reminds me of the good times I had with my mother and uncle Harry. But it seems a little to expensive to be kept in my pocket forever." Ryan scratched his eyebrow, like he always did when he was trying to figure something out. "Maybe I should take it to her grave."

Something about how Ryan said "_her_" made Natalia suspect that he wasn't talking about his mother. But she quickly shot the thought away.

"Or maybe you should carry on the tradition."

"What tradition? The only tradition my family's got is the Blue Band tradition and I don't see how that's relevant."

"Well, you could always start a tradition." Natalia said, resisting the urge to ask what the Blue Band tradition was. "Harry gave your mother that necklace because they loved each other. Maybe you should pass it on to the woman you love?" Ryan looked up at her.

"That sounds a little cheesy…" he shrugged.

"Women love cheesy things." Natalia smiled. "Anyway, you can do whatever you want, but my advice is to keep that thing with the living and give it to the woman you love. Whenever you meet her." She didn't really know why she'd said the last thing. Maybe so she could confirm her suspicions; that she'd lost her chance years ago after that stupid date when she'd been wasting her time thinking about Eric, and move on with her life.

Ryan looked at her for a while, seemingly lost in thoughts, before reaching out and tucking an escaped part of her hair back behind her ear. He kept his hand by her cheek and his expression became a bit softer. It took every part of Natalia's self control to keep her from leaning in to his touch, not wanting to intimidate him. He kept his expression while carefully stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"What if I've already met the woman I love?" he said carefully. Then his expression suddenly changed and he quickly took his hand back. "Bye then." he mumbled and hurried away, leaving Natalia speechless.

While on his way out of the locker room Ryan walked in to Horatio, literally.

"Sorry H." he said embarrassed but Horatio just smiled at him.

"It's okay Mr. Wolfe. Don't worry about it." Ryan nodded and walked away, wondering about the wide smile on Horatio's face. What he didn't know was that his boss had been standing by the locker room for some time and had heard everything Natalia and Ryan had said to each other. And he couldn't stop thinking about Ryan's last response.

"_What if I've already met the woman I love?"_

That surely brought back memories.

**Ok, I officially admit defeat! I'm terrible at writing romantic scenes. I can do angst scenes, sad scenes, fantasy stuff, and love scenes, but not romantic scenes! Probably because my life is currently empty of romance. Although I did try, so I should at least get some credit for that. I should also probably say that the next couple of chapters are going to be flashbacks.**

**As always: R n R.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm back! Thanks for the reviews! And most of the questions will be answered in the story. The part with Ryan suddenly taking his hand back in the chapter before was more of embarrassment for the situation than anything else. As I wrote in that chapter, I'm not really good at writing those kind of scenes.**

_Flashback_

Horatio Caine kept looking at the woman while following his friends to the doors, on their way for lunch.

"Who is she?" Wilson asked. No one asked who he meant, knowing that they all wondered the same thing about the same woman.

"I guess there's only one way to find out." Herm said suddenly and before anyone had time to react he was standing in front of the woman with a charming smile.

"Can I help you in any way, Mrs.?"

"It's **lieutenant**, Wolfe." They heard her answer roughly. "And since you've been polite enough to offer, I could actually need some help. Go and tell Captain Morris to come down here and get me signed in."

"There's no need for that Lt. Wolfe." Captain Morris said while approaching them, and Herm immediately took a few steps back, sensing that this was something he didn't want to get involved in.

"That's the Wolfe everyone's so afraid of? A woman with a kid?" Herm said doubtfully when he was standing back with his friends.

"You guys should be happy you weren't here when she was pregnant. It was horrible!" O'Connell was suddenly standing next to them. "Although, I'm not sure if she'll be that much better now."

"Why are you here with your kid Wolfe?" Morris asked annoyed.

"I couldn't find a babysitter, sir." Wolfe answered casually. "Now, are you going to sign me in or not?"

"I can't allow you to go out in the field with a kid!"

"I know that, I'm only here to start up with my paperwork. That way, I can go out in the field tomorrow." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Wolfe, maybe you should go home and come back tomorrow after you've gotten yourself a babysitter." Morris said calmly. "You temporary replacement can take care of things another day."

"You got a temporary replacement?" Wolfe asked surprised.

"Well someone had to write the rapports while you were…" Morris suddenly got quiet.

"Someone else wrote my rapports?"

"Well, yeah…"

"You let a complete stranger handle my papers? In my office?" She took a small step against the detective, which got him to immediately take one step back.

"Well he had to be somewhere…"

"Oh, he better not have messed up anything." Wolfe clutched the car seat and stared walking down the hall with big steps, followed by a concerned looking Morris.

"Weren't you guys going to lunch?" O'Connell asked suddenly, taking the officers out of their trance.

"Yeah." Horatio answered, before turning around and following his co-workers out."

-/-

"Why so jumpy O'Connell?" Herm asked and patted the Sergeants shoulder.

"Wolfe's looking for me."

"So…"

"So? Didn't you see her this morning? She isn't really in her best mood. And the kid's been crying for the last hour, which doesn't really help."

"Look, I get it, she was pissed. But she's a woman for god's sake! I don't get how she even got into the academy in the first place! Let alone, became a lieutenant." Herm said loudly.

"You wouldn't think that way if you would have known her for as long as I have, and let me tell you this: she might be a very unstable female, but she's a good cop." O'Connell said annoyed. "Besides, if you'd seen Emerson at the hospital, you'd be afraid of her too."

"What **did **happen with Emerson?" Wilson asked curiously.

"Well, you see, he…"

"O'Connell!" Wolfe was suddenly standing in front of them, looking extremely annoyed. She was still holing the car seat and up close Horatio could see a little boy with brown hair and his mother's hazel eyes looking at them curiously.

"Yes ma'am!"

"Who was in my office while I was gone?"

"I…I don't know ma'am." O'Connell stuttered.

"Don't lie to me O'Connell. You if anyone should know who was there."

"Morris told me not to tell you." Wolfe took a deep breath, seemingly to calm herself down.

"O'Connell, you know how I like thing to be clean and or their places, right?" O'Connell nodded. "Well, right now, my office is filled with half eaten sandwiches, rotten fruit and coffee stains. The papers are out of order, my pens are broken and I can't find the photos I used to have on my desk. On top of all of that, the kid," She made a motion with her arm, allowing them to know that she meant her son. "has been whining for an hour, not allowing me to clean up. So you better tell me who it was or I swear to God…"

"With all do respect lieutenant." Horatio said suddenly, wanting to help his friend out. "O'Connell has absolutely nothing to do with your son crying or what happened to your office. You shouldn't punish him just for following orders." Horatio had honestly never really understood the expression 'if looks could kill' until that very moment.

"You're new here right? I can't remember seeing a redhead around here before." she asked him calmly.

"I just recently got out of the academy." He started feeling his throat going very dry.

"Well it seems like they didn't educate you well enough considering that you're going against authority." She took a step closer to him. "And I don't like it when people…" O'Connell let out a sudden squeak. He was staring at a tall man with a small beard who was standing and talking to the receptionist down the hall. "O'Connell, who is that?" she asked, keeping her gaze at the man.

"Thomson. He's from upstate. He's working here temporarily while…"

"I was on maternity leave." Wolfe finished and looked back at O'Connell. He nodded carefully and she immediately started walking against the man. Horatio took a deep breath. Man, that woman was scary.

"Hey Thomson!" Wolfe said loudly, getting a few heads to turn to her directions. Sensing what was going on people quickly started making excuses and turned to walk away.

"What?" Thomson asked annoyed. When he saw the woman coming against his face lit up with a cocky smile. "But isn't it Miss Wolfe?"

"**Lieutenant **Wolfe." she corrected him angrily. "I need you to clean up my office."

"Why?"

"Because it's dirty."

"Well you're a woman, clean it up." he said confidently, not even wincing at the killing look he received. "Or better yet; go home. Take care of your kid and let the men do the working." Why Thomson hadn't turned around and ran away from her yet was completely out of Horatio's understanding. Wolfe seemed to literally be on her way to explode. She took a step closer to the man and smiled one of the scariest smiles he had ever seen in his life.

"Really, that's how you think it should be? The men getting assigned to the hard things, which is working. And the women getting assigned to easier things, like cleaning up and taking care of the children."

"Yeah, I'm glad you're getting it. I'm surprised that your husband didn't help you figure it out sooner."

"So you're telling me that you think having and taking care of children is easy?"

_Don't answer that, don't answer that,_ Horatio thought, sensing that Thomson had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"Well, it can't be that hard if women can do it." Wolfe actually gave out a little laugh to that.

"Can you give me a second?" She turned around and put her son up on the reception desk. "Stay here Hun, mommy's got something to take care of." She faced Thomson again, and he opened his mouth as if to say something, but before any word came out she kneed him in the groin. He moaned in pain and crouched to the ground. "According to most people every contraction before giving birth is a hundred times more painful than getting kicked in the groin. But contractions hold about a minute or so, so one kick wouldn't really do it." Thomson seemed to have relaxed a little bit and had taken his hands away from his groin, which showed up to be a huge mistake. She immediately stomped him at the exact same place, and he once again moaned in pain. "Then you'll have to imagine **that **coming about every three minutes for about eight hours. That's a lot of kicks. And that's not even close to the pain during the birth itself." She crouched down beside him. "And yes Thomson, all women can do it. But I'm seriously starting to doubt that men can, considering you've got tears in your eyes before you've even made it through the minute." She stood up again, smoothing her clothes and turning back to her son.

"Wolfe, what's going on?" Morris said suddenly, having just walked in to the reception. "Why is Thomson on the floor?" Thomson immediately stood up at the mentioning of his name, but he kept looking down rather uncomfortably.

"Why don't you ask him?" she said innocently.

"What did you do Wolfe?"

"I didn't do anything. Did I Thomson?" The man shook his head slowly. "There you go. I'm going back to my office now. And don't worry about the cleaning Thomson, I'll take care of it. You just get your stuff and go back to where you came from."

"Now I get what you meant about having a family in the future." Wilson said to O'Connell as Wolfe started walking away.

"Hey, you! Redhead!" she called suddenly and Horatio noticed that she was looking at him.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have anything to do right now?"

"I'm, eh, going out patrolling with officer Miller." Horatio shifted the weight on his feet uncomfortably.

"Ok, what about you Sticky?" She nodded against Wilson. Horatio could see why she'd given him that particular nickname: Wilson was incredibly thin.

"I… I've got nothing ma'am." he stuttered.

"Then go patrolling with Miller. Tell him that the redhead is coming with me." She didn't stick around to hear an answer, she just started walking away. When she noticed that Horatio wasn't moving she turned against him again. "Now!"

He hurried after her, trying to figure out what she could possibly want from him. What if she was going to do to him what she'd done to Thomson? Or worse, what if he ended up like Emerson? Whoever he was.

He was so deep in thought that he almost ran into her when she suddenly stopped. She seemed a lot calmer now and he remembered how beautiful he'd first thought she was. Sure, she looked tired and annoyed and he was still a little scared of her, as his supervisor and possible murderer, but he couldn't help it. She was just so…

"Red, are you paying any attention?" she said, snapping him out of his thoughts. Again.

"What? I'm sorry, I just…"

"Never mind. Look Red, or whatever your name is…"

"Caine." he said quickly. "Horatio Caine."

"Fine. **Caine**. As you heard earlier I need to clean up my office. I also have to write a lot of paperwork and run a few errands. And I can't do all of that while carrying around my kid. So I need you to…"

"Run your errands for you?" Horatio said hopefully. No matter how small the errand was, saying that he'd done a part of a lieutenant's job would look really good for future promotions.

"Not really." She shoved the car seat into his hand and hung a big bag over his shoulder. "The bag's got diapers and extra clothes and some of his favorite toys. He'll get hungry in about two hours, which is when you bring him to me. Until then I need you to look after him. Don't let him cry. Morris will know why you're not doing your work, so don't worry about that. And also, just so we're clear: if anything happens to him while he's in your care they're going to have to scrape your remains of the floor. Bye." Before Horatio even had time to begin to react she'd closed the door to her office and pulled down the blinds. He stared down at the child who was eyeing him innocently. What the hell was he suppose to do now?

**Ok, I know this chapter had a few flaws:**

**1. Making O'Connell a sergeant was also a bit of a stretch. I should have just made him an officer.**

**2. There's no way Morris would be scared of Wolfe, considering that he's higher ranked then her. There's probably also no way that he would let her use one of the officers as a babysitter.**

**3. She should have gotten punished for beating another lieutenant.**

**4. She seemed a little sadistic with the kicking in the crotch thing, which she's not. Definitely not!**

**But then again, it's my story. And things aren't fun if they're perfect :P.**


	5. Chapter 5

**They had a CSI marathon from 9 pm on Saturday to 6 am Sunday, showing the ten most voted on episodes form season 1 to 10. Sounds like heaven right? Well, it is, if you're not forced to go to sleep at noon, and therefore only catching three episodes : (. **

**But on a happier note: The new promo for Criminal Minds season 7 is out! Just saw it on You Tube (and yes, I do realize I'm a little late to the news). I can't wait! Wonder when the CSI: Miami promo is coming out…**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: Miami or the characters in the show. I do however own my own characters and plotline. (I know I forgot this in the last chapter, sorry)**

_Flashback._

"Hey, how's my godson doing?" Horatio looked up and saw officer Hill come against him. They were currently in the café down the street of the department, where he he'd decided to retreat in lack of things to do.

"Godson?" he asked confused while rocking the car seat in an attempt to get the kid to stop whining.

"Yeah, Amanda made me godfather. It was a real shock!" Hill laughed and looked down at the toddler. "So, how is he?"

"Whining."

"Just hold up the blue elephants, it always shuts him up. Here, let me show you." He started looking through the bag Wolfe (Amanda?) had given him while Horatio tried to get a grip of the situation. Hill wasn't exactly the kind of guy you'd name godfather of your son. At least that was the impression he'd gotten from rumors. The thing about Hill was that everyone seemed to politely avoid him. Politely being the key word. They were all polite to him, but no one seemed to want to have anything to do with him, and they were very open about it. O'Connell had even told them to avoid Hill, who didn't seem to have any problems with being avoided at all. He was strange that way. He was also the one getting into most trouble with Morris, considering that he always seemed to forget or loose something. Therefore being a terrible person to give your son to.

"Here you go." The little boy immediately got quiet when he saw the little mobile with blue elephants on it.

"Thank you!" Horatio said truthfully. Maybe he wasn't that bad of a choice after all.

"You're welcome. So, how did you end up with Ryan?"

"Ryan? That's he's name?"

"Yeah. You didn't know?" Hill asked surprised.

"No. Everyone's just been calling him 'kid' all day." Horatio shrugged.

"Well, yes, his name is Ryan. Ryan Adam Wolfe. The Ryan being after me, and the Adam after his brother, who was originally named after their grandfather, whose name also resulted in Amanda being named, well, Amanda. Or something like that." He shook his head. "Anyway, how did you end up with him?"

"I guess she's punishing me for standing up against her." Horatio heard a few officers laugh further into the café and he knew more than well that it was him they were laughing at.

"I don't really think that she's punishing you." Hill said and smiled.

"Yeah, well she only put me to take care of a kid, which isn't just very exhausting and annoying, but also very embarrassing. Every person in the department knows I've got to take care of him, and they've been calling me Nanny McPhee, or whatever her name was, all day. How is that not punishing me?" Horatio said angrily.

"Look, I know Amanda. If she gave you Ryan it wasn't to punish you, it was because you did something that got her to like you." Horatio shook his head in disbelief. Maybe he was crazy after all.

"Hey Ronny, our shift starts now!" Hill's partner suddenly called out.

"I'll be right there." Hill put the mobile in Horatio's hand. "If he gets bored, just give him the brown one with the dogs and he'll calm down again. And don't worry about other people talking, we both know they would've been to scared to say no if she'd asked them too."

"I wasn't…" But Ronny was already gone. Horatio sighed. "I guess it's just you and me again, kid." he mumbled to the boy. "Or Ryan. Or was it Adam. Hmm… Which one do you prefer, huh?" Ryan didn't respond, he just kept looking at the elephants that were circulating above him. "Great, now **I'm** going crazy."

-/-

"Come in!" a soft voice responded when Horatio knocked on the door of Wolfe's office. He walked in carefully and closed the door behind him.

He was immediately taken by surprise. He had seen the was the office had looked like when Thomson had been working there and he thought it would take days to clean it up. But still, here he was, and he had never seen an office as clean as this. It was practically shining. But that wasn't what surprised him the most. What surprised him the most was the calm, smiling woman sitting behind the desk, looking up from some papers.

"Oh, there's my little boy!" she said happily and stood up and took the car seat from Horatio's hand. "Caine didn't force you to stay in the car seat all this time did he?" She looked up at Horatio who immediately started stuttering.

"I… Ehm…" Her laugh broke him off.

"Don't worry about it." She picked Ryan up from the seat and went back behind her desk.

"You seem calmer." Horatio said suddenly, not knowing what came over him. But she just shot him a dazzling smile which got his knees to feel like jell-o.

What the hell was wrong with him? He was Horatio Caine, a known ladies man. **He** was the one who got girls knees to soften, not the other way around!

"I feel better when everything is clean and in place. They say it's because I've got something called OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder. It's no big deal really." She shrugged and returned to her son. "Now, who's hungry?"

To Horatio's horror she started unbuttoning her blouse, revealing a white bra holding in her big breasts. He immediately felt his pants tighten and turned away, blushing furiously.

"What's wrong Caine, never seen a child feed before?" she said with an amused voice.

"You're punishing me aren't you. Through making me take care of your kid and then taking you blouse of like that." He responded, his back still turned against her. She started laughing again.

"No Caine, I'm not punishing you. I only punish the people I don't like."

"So… You like me?" he said and shot her a quick glance, which he immediately regretted when he felt the pants tighten once again when he saw her free breasts. Turning around again he tried his best to think of anything to calm himself down.

"I respect you. It's pretty much the same."

"Why do you respect me? I stood up against authority. Against you."

"Yes, but you did it to help a friend out. That's something I respect." He heard her shift in her seat and he couldn't help imagining her long legs wrapped around him.

_Think of what happened to Thomson. Think about how she kicked him in his privates. Think about how strong her sexy, long legs are… Wait! No! _

"You can turn around now, they're tucked in." Horatio heard her stand up and turned around and faced her. She was holding Ryan by the shoulder, his back against Horatio.

"What are you doing?" he asked, surprised at the way she was holding him.

"Burping him. If I don't do it he'll just throw up. Although, sometimes he throws up anyway." Her eyes were shining with what Horatio recognized as motherly love as she kissed her son's head. "Did you really keep him in the seat all day?"

"Well, yeah. I was afraid that if I picked him up I'd drop him, and you said that if he'd get hurt you'd…"

"Ok, stop. I get it. I was just as scared as you at first."

"That you'd drop him?"

"No, that his father would. And I was right to; he almost did drop him once, I caught him in the last second. I haven't let him touch Ryan ever since. Not that he's complaining." she said bitterly. Seeing Horatio's confusion over her sudden change of mood got her to smile again. "Here, take him." she said suddenly.

"I don't think…"

"Come on, you won't drop him. If Ron can do it anyone can."

"But you just said his father…"

"His father doesn't count. He's an idiot. Come on, take him. He won't bite, I promise." She came close to him and carefully put the little child in his shaking hands. Horatio calmed down as he realized how little he weighed. This wasn't hard at all. "And now hold him by your shoulder like I did so he won't…" A little burp sounded by Horatio's ear and he felt something wet come down his shoulder. "puke…" Wolfe finished, before she started laughing. Horatio was lost at words. He could feel the puke sliding down his back and the horrible smell that came with it, but the lieutenant just kept laughing.

"Ehm, Wolfe… Help?" he said carefully and she slowly stopped laughing.

"I'm sorry, it's just… I mean, you should see the look on your face." she grinned. "Come here honey." she took Ryan away from him. "As I said; he throws up anyway sometimes. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, it's natural I guess." Horatio mumbled, longing for a shower.

"You know, I think Thomson kept one of his shirts… Here we go!" She pulled up a blue shirt from the desk and threw it to him.

"Thanks." He waited for her to tell him to go to the locker and change, or at least turn around. But she didn't move, eyeing him with an amused look. "Could you, ehm…" She raised one of her eyebrows at him but thankfully she didn't say anything, she just turned around and started putting Ryan back into the seat. He changed quickly and kept the dirty shirt at an arm's length from his body. It really smelled.

"Want me to wash that for you?" Wolfe asked kindly as she turned and faced him again.

"No thanks, I'm fine."

"If you say so." She picked up the car seat with the now sleeping Ryan and Horatio made a motion to take it from her. "You don't have to take him, I'm going home now." She walked against the door but before she opened it she turned against him with a bright smile. "I know that you got a lot of crap for looking after Ryan today, but see it this way: Now, I owe you, and to have a lieutenant owing you isn't something bad." Then she left.

Horatio noticed himself smiling stupidly after her and turned his head into the room quickly. He immediately noticed the blue bag at the desk and grabbed it quickly.

"Wait, you forgot you bag!" he said and grabbed her arm when he caught up with her on the parking lot.

"Oh, thanks Caine." she said surprised and opened the car doors.

"You're welcome L.T Wolfe." he answered quickly.

"Please, I'm off duty. It's Amanda." she smiled.

"Then I'm Horatio." Her smile suddenly turned into a frown.

"Horatio…" she said carefully, almost like she was tasting his name. Then she shook her head. "Nope, can't do it. Do you have any nicknames?" She leant in to the car to put her son in.

"Not really, no. Why can't you just call me Horatio?" She retreated out from the car and made a face.

"OCD doesn't just make you want everything to be clean. It's got other effects too. For example, I can't stand names with more than three syllables. It's sound weird, I know…"

"Harry." Horatio interrupted. "My friend in High School used to call me that." he explained when he saw her confused face.

"Well, ok, Harry." she smiled again. "I know I seem crazy, but I just prefer shorter names. Like Harry, or Ryan, or…"

"Adam?" Her smile fell again and she swallowed.

"Yeah. How did you…?"

"Hill mentioned that was Ryan's middle name. And your other son's given name. Where is he anyway, is he with your husband?"

"Graham and I aren't married. Never will be. He lives in Boston." she said coldly and closed the car door.

"Then where is he?" Horatio asked again, cursing Wilson for infecting him with his curiosity. Amanda looked at him and he recognized the look of pain that shot through her hazel eyes.

"He's dead." she said shortly before getting in the car and driving off.

**I promise the Adam thing will be explained in the next chapter. And just to give you a heads up: I Am Not A Terrible Person. I just watch too much death and stuff on TV I guess…**

**And as always: RnR away!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Fun fact 2: When I first came up with this story I considered making Horatio Ryan's father, Adam being the kid Amanda Wolfe first walked in with (read chapter 2). But I thought it would get a little over dramatic, plus I suck at non physical confrontations, written and in real life. So I made Ryan the kid, and killed off Adam much earlier than I originally planned (I was planning in letting him get shot my the mob while he was in college). I also invented Chloe (you'll get why later on, I think).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or the characters. I do however own my own characters and plotline.**

_Flashback_

"Hey Caine, over here." O'Connell said and grinned at him as he sat down next to him, Herm and Wilson in the café. "I didn't have time to ask you this morning before you went out patrolling, but how did it go with Wolfe?" Horatio shrugged and glanced over at Amanda, who was sitting and laughing with Hill a few tables away.

"Fine, I guess. She wasn't really that bad once the office was clean and she calmed down."

"Yeah, that OCC thing of hers…"

"OCD." Horatio corrected O'Connell and glanced over at Amanda again, seeing her holding Hill's hand. The sight got his stomach to crumble and suddenly he wasn't that hungry anymore.

"Why is she with Hill anyway? I thought everyone was suppose to avoid him." Wilson asked, not being able to hide his curiosity.

"They're friends. Their fathers were both cops. Good ones too, I've heard. Anyway, Hill and Wolfe practically grew up together, since their fathers were partners, so they're like brother and sister."

"Looks like they're more than brother and sister to me." Wilson said and took a large bite off his sandwich. Ok, now Horatio definitely wasn't hungry.

"No way. I've heard Hill is a queer." Herm said coldly.

"Shh! Don't ever let her hear you use that word!" O'Connell said angrily. "That's how Emerson ended up the way he did. Or at least that's what started the chain reaction."

"Ok, you lost me there."

"Well, you see one day Emerson and some other officers went after Hill in the locker room, and they…" he trailed off and glanced over at Amanda, who was still holding Hill's hand. "I really shouldn't tell you this."

"Come on O'Connell. You're driving us crazy! Just spit it out!" Herm said, sounding annoyed.

"It's not up to me to tell you."

"You tell everyone everything O'Connell. What makes this different?"

"Well, for starters. It involves Wolfe and her son Adam."

"I thought Adam was dead?" Horatio said, earning surprised looks from his friends. "What? I spent a lot of time with her yesterday, we talked a bit."

"Did she tell you how he died?"

"No. What does that have got to do with Emerson?" O'Connell looked at the three officers and sighed.

"Fine, I'll tell you. But you didn't hear this from me, alright?"

"We never do."

_Flashback further back in time :P_

"Get off me." Hill said angrily and tried to get out of Emerson's grip, but he was much stronger and just pushed him harder against the locker. "Why, I thought you liked having a man's hands on you, you queer."

"Just let me go."

"No way, queer." One of the other officers said and the locker room got filled with officers yelling out: "Queer, queer, queer!" They all laughed when Hill's expression turned from anger to fear to pain when Emerson kicked him in the stomach. He fell to the ground groaning and the officers surrounded him, kicking and yelling.

"What the hell is going on here?" Wolfe's voice got everyone to get quiet and the group shattered as she ran down to her wounded friend. "Oh God, Hill." She tried to bend down to him but wasn't able to because of her big stomach containing her two sons.

Emerson cursed under his breath. He'd forgotten that Wolfe was coming by one last time before going on maternity leave. Great, now he had to deal with an instable pregnant woman. Again. Man she bothered him.

"Who did this?" she asked Hill who was slowly standing up again. He glanced at Emerson but quickly got his gaze back to the floor. Unfortunately Wolfe always seemed to notice everything and she quickly turned to Emerson and shook her head. "Why?"

"Because. Because he's a queer."

"So? What's that got to do with you Emerson? What's that got to do with any of you?" she said loudly looking at all the officers in the room.

"It's freaking disgusting!"

"So? Let him be disgusting if he wants to! Let him go to hell or whatever other reason you've got for people not being gay, it's got nothing to do with you! It's his life, not yours. Let him live it the way he wants to." She glared at him and took Hill's hand. "Come on, let's go get you checked up."

"Yeah, Hill. Go hide with your mother. You and I can finish this when she's not around." Wolfe turned back facing him, her eyes shooting lightning.

"Amanda, let's just go…" Hill said carefully but she didn't listen. She grabbed Emerson's arm.

"Emerson, I swear to God, if you ever…"

"Get the hell of me bitch." he interrupted her and pushed her away. Loosing her grip on him she fell over and landed on her stomach, crying out in pain.

"What the hell Emerson!"

"What did you do that for?"

"She grabbed me!" Emerson exclaimed, backing away from the officers' who where now looking at him angrily.

"Yeah, but she's pregnant. You don't shove a pregnant woman!" The officers started surrounding him, just like they'd done minutes before with Hill.

"Yeah, she could've gotten hurt!"

"Ehm, guys. I think we need to call an ambulance. She's not responding." Everyone turned and looked at Wolfe who was lying seemingly unconscious in a pool of blood.

"Oh, God. Amanda! Amanda, can you hear me?" Ron almost yelled and kneeled down next to her. "What are you guys waiting for? Get the god damn paramedics here! Amanda, sweetie, please. Wake up. Please. For your boys. For Adam and Ryan."

_End of flashback_

"So Emerson shoving her while pregnant lead to her loosing Adam?" Wilson said carefully.

"Yep."

"What's that got to do with what happened to him?" Herm asked roughly, not looking half as disturbed over the story as Wilson and Horatio.

"Well, after Wolfe was cleared from the hospital she went to see Emerson."

"And she beat him up?"

"Actually, she offered him forgiveness. All she asked was for him to apology. But he refused."

"Wait a minute. He **killed** her son, kind of, and she's willing to forgive him for it in exchange for an apology and he refuses?" Horatio said doubtfully. "If I would have been him, I'd be **begging** her to forgive me."

"Well, he **did** beg her. After she was done with him. Trust me, that not a pretty sight." O'Connell shook his head. "Time to get back, see you guys later."

A waitress stopped by and took his plate up. Horatio motioned for her to take his untouched plate too, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to eat again.

**Oh, and I know this was a short chapter and that it didn't happen much, but I really wanted to include Adam since he was a part of the original idea. Plus, at least now you know what happened to Emerson : ). Think he deserved it?**

**As always: RnR away!**


	7. Chapter 7

**And in order to clear some things up: Yes, there will be more present time in the future of the story, though most of the story is flashbacks. And Ryan and Adam were twins, so yes they have the same father. And their parents were never really together, after all the father is married and has kids, and the fighting will explain itself later on. And when it comes to Ryan finding out about Harry; I'm still working on that!**

**And oh, there will be a little flashback in this chapter, but it won't be as far back as the other ones. It will only be to "Under the influence".**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or the characters in the show. I do however own my own characters and plotline.**

_Present_

"I'm glad the thing with the murder worked out." Natalia said as she waited by the door of Ryan's apartment. She'd volunteered to drive him back to the crime lab since he hadn't really felt for picking his car up the night before.

"Yeah, me too. You have no idea how much it's been bothering me the last couple of years, I'm glad it finally worked out." he answered from inside the apartment. He was currently changing and Natalia was trying her best not to sneak up and try to look in.

"Let me guess: it hasn't been bothering you at all?" she took a few steps in and took up a photograph of a woman and four men in police uniforms from the counter.

"Good guess." he chuckled.

"Ehm, Ryan? Is this one of the photos from the box?"

"Well, I can't really see it so I'm not sure. What's on it?"

"I think it's your mother, with four other men in uniform."

"Yeah, that photo is from the box." Ryan said, emerging from his room and took the photo from Natalia. "Let's see… This is my uncle Ron, he was an officer." Ryan said and pointed at the tall, dark haired man who was standing next to Amanda Wolfe with a grin. "Sergeant Jack O'Connell." He pointed at a short, broad shouldered man who was too grinning. "Officer Carl Wilson." He pointed at a thin man with curious eyes who was standing on the other side of Amanda. "And Harry." There was no doubt Harry was handsome. He was tall, muscular and had short, red hair and a smile that Natalia was sure had gotten a lot of woman in bed. But he was also the only one who wasn't looking at the camera. He had his arm around Amanda's waist and was giving her a look that even got Natalia to feel the love in the air. But there was something else about him. Some kind of familiarity about the red hair, the blue eyes and the way his other hand rested on his own waist.

"Ehm… Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"This Harry guy, doesn't he look like someone we know?"

"I don't think so, why? You recognize him?"

She looked up at Ryan and decided that she should get all the fact before she started throwing around suspicions. After all, there were a lot of blue-eyed redheads who used to work on the NYPD at that time and who looked suspiciously like their boss, right?

Oh, who was she kidding? She had no idea how Ryan hadn't ever made the connection. But then again, Ryan had always been thinking that "Harry" and Horatio are two different people, why would a photo change that?

"Never minds." she said quickly and put the photo back on the counter. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

-/-

"Horatio, may I have a word?" Natalia said as she walked in to her bosses' office.

"Of course miss Boa Vista. Sit down."

"I prefer to stand. This will be quick." Horatio nodded and leaned back in his chair, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't. She seemed nervous and was avoiding his eyes.

"What's going on miss Boa Vista?"

"Look, H, I know this doesn't have anything to do with me, but I had to ask."

"What…?"

"Amanda Wolfe." she interrupted him. Horatio immediately straightened up in his chair and Natalia noticed something flashing in his eyes that she didn't really recognize. Sadness? Fear?

"What about her?" he asked with a more strained voice.

"You're Harry, the man who gave her the necklace. And don't deny it, I saw the photo!" she added when he opened his mouth again.

"I wasn't going to." he said calmly. "I was just going to ask you not to mention anything to Mr. Wolfe."

"Why not?"

"Because it's in our past and I don't want mine and Wolfe's working relationship to change."

"Through him finding out that you almost became his stepfather?" Horatio nodded carefully, a small smile creeping up on his face. "Is that why you always distance yourself from him? And call him Mr. Wolfe? Does he remind you too much about her?" He nodded again.

"It's been almost 30 years and it still hurts sometimes."

"Did you know, when you first hired him?" Natalia asked and sat down, having gotten rid of her nervousness.

_Flashback_ "Under the influence"

Horatio Caine was standing by Alexx and Eric at the crime scene where a woman only hours earlier had been run over by a bus. She was lying on the ground, covered in her own blood. It was not a pretty sight. Suddenly a young officer approached them.

"Lieutenant, I'm officer Wolfe." he said, meeting Horatio's blue eyes with his hazel.

_Wolfe. Hazel eyes. Could it be?_

He shook of the thought. He had other things to worry about.

"Thank you Wolfe, we'll take it from here." he said quickly, trying not to show how uncomfortable he was in the man's presence.

"He's thorough." Eric commented when the officer left.

"Yes." _Just like Amanda._ "Follow up please."

"Will do lieutenant." the Cuban teased and left.

While in the interview room with Pete Horatio suddenly saw the same officer Wolfe standing outside. Yelina came up next to him, telling him that he was there to try for the vacant spot Speed had left.

"Ryan Wolfe." she called him. "_Ryan Adam Wolfe."_ Horatio remembered Ron saying. But still, there could be a lot of Ryan Wolfe's with those eyes in the country. Plus, Amanda's son lived in Boston. "He's asked me to put in a good word for him."

"So he's not shy?" _Well, neither was Amanda._

"Look, he's got a bachelor's in chemistry and he's working in patrol until he finishes his master in genetics."

"Sounds like I should talk to him then. Sit tight Pete." Horatio left the room and went over to Wolfe.

"Lieutenant. Thanks for meeting with me." Ryan said and shook his hand.

"No problems, step over here Wolfe." he murmured and walked over with him. "So detective Salas tells me that you're thinking about a career change." he said and sat down.

"Only if I can be a criminalist. Ehm, I've done a dussin write-alongs with homicide,(…)*, hit all the seminars. I'm ready." he nodded.

"Okay, so no more patrol?" Horatio asked, avoiding to meet the officer's eyes. They were just so alike Amanda's! How was it possible?

"Patrol's great, but there's no follow through. Dispatch calls and you move on. CSI is where all the cases are solved**."

Horatio tried to figure out if this guy could really cover Speed's place? After all, he was a little young. Speed had been a lot older and he had still made that mistake with his gun. _His gun!_ Amanda would always, because of her OCD, clean her gun about every day. _I wonder…_

"Okay. Let me see your service pistol."

"Sir?"

"Your weapon, let me see it." Wolfe carefully handed the lieutenant his gun, looking uncertain for the first time. Horatio looked in to the gun and saw how clean it was.

"You clean this every week?" he asked, still avoiding eye contact.

"More, I'm a little OCD. Drives the watch commander crazy." Wolfe said in an attempt to joke. But Horatio could still see the anxiety in his body language.

"Ok, let me see your backup." Ryan reached down and handed him his backup. He checked it out and gave it back.

"That is quite a case of OCD Wolfe." _Just like HER._

Ryan sighed in annoyance.

"Did I just lose this job?"

"You know what? I need to think about it. Have a seat over there." Horatio nodded against some chairs and stood up. When he walked away Horatio looked over to Yelina who was smiling at him.

"Is there something else you'd like to tell me about officer Wolfe?" he asked her in a low voice when he approached her.

"Like what?"

"Like what his mother's name is." he raised an eyebrow at her but she just smiled.

"So you figured it out." she shook her head. "He's the son of Amanda Wolfe, grandson of Adam Wolfe and great grandson of Philip Wolfe."

"All great people in law enforcement." he noted.

"Well, you should know."

Horatio quickly changed the subject back to the case, and Yelina politely did the same. When she walked away he was immediately approached by Calleigh, who was having trouble with her alcoholic dad, again. She was really pushing it to protect him, messing with the alcohol test. But he was her father after all.

"I'd like to stay on the case." she said when her father had left them. But Horatio had gotten another idea.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea. I think we need someone who's not byes to you or your father."

"Someone from the night shift?"

"I'm thinking patrol."

"Patrol? A newbie? They don't even know how it works at CSI." she responded angrily.

"I need you to trust me on this. Wolfe!"

"Yes sir." Ryan said immediately and walked over to them.

"Wolfe, you're hired."

"Ehm, but what about the paper work?"

"You let me worry about that. Man up. You're on the clock now so go ahead son."

"Ok." Wolfe responded and left.

"Do me a favor and go with me this time." he said to Calleigh before leaving too.

"So you hired him." Yelina said amused.

"He seems to have potential."

"Yeah, he does. But that's not the only reason you hired him right?" Horatio stayed silent, and she took that as a yes. "Still thinking that he could've been yours if it hadn't been for that one time?"

"Sometimes." he sighed.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Did it seem like he recognized me?"

"No."

"Then no, I'm not going to tell him." And with that he left. He didn't get very far though, stopping outside the lab and seeing Wolfe doing his work.

"_Still thinking that he could've been yours?" Every day._ Then the phone call came and he was forced to leave.

Horatio walked outside and found Calleigh standing on the steps up to the MDPD waiting for him.

"How are you doing?" he asked her carefully.

"Better." She answered rolled and her eyes.

"Better, but not great." She smiled.

"No, not great."

"You know, they say that one day at the time works both ways."

"I'll remember that." she nodded.

"Ok." Then he asked the question he'd wanted to ask her all along; "How did Wolfe do?" _Was he as good as his mother?_

"Surprisingly good. But you knew that didn't you?" Horatio couldn't help but smile. Even though there was no way Calleigh knew everything, there was no doubt that she had suspected **something**. What it was, was impossible to say.

"It's in his blood. Good night."

_End of flashback_

Natalia shook her head.

"First Ryan's mother, then your brother's wife and then Eric's sister. You really know how to pick your women, H." Horatio chuckled.

"You can't choose who you fall in love with."

"Yeah, you've got that right." she mumbled and glanced at Ryan, who was standing near the office talking with Calleigh.

"The way Amanda and I ended things… It wasn't good, I'll tell you that much. But I still loved every second I spent with her leading up to the end, and I wish I had more of them. Don't do what I did. Don't let fear get in your way and shorten the time you have together."

"I don't know what you're…"

"Natalia, there's nothing you can hide from me, remember?" Natalia looked up and shook her head.

"It's nothing…"

"Natalia…"

"Ok, know what? I'll stay out of your and Amanda's business if you stay out of mine. OK?" Natalia said annoyed, not wanting to get in to that path with her boss. Horatio was great and all and you could usually tell him anything, but she had to draw the line somewhere, and her love life was it. He just nodded and she stood up to leave.

"Miss Boa Vista, what photograph were you talking about earlier?" Horatio said suddenly.

"The one with you, O'Connell, Ron, Wilson and Amanda." she answered quickly, before she walked out and closed the door behind her.

"Hey, what were you doing in Horatio's office for so long?" Ryan asked her when she walked in to DNA. Her first thought was to just tell him everything about Horatio and his mother, but then she remembered that she'd been told not to. Plus, she'd said she'd stay out of it.

"Nothing really. I was just really tired yesterday and really screwed up this rapport. I mean, it was crazy! So I had to kind of sort it out and Horatio helped." she lied quickly, giving him a faked smile.

"Ok..." he said and returned to the computer.

"Yeah… What are you doing then?"

"The victim got some of the killer's DNA under her fingernails so I'm searching it through the database. It might take a while though."

"So you don't have any suspects?"

"No, not yet." he turned back to her. "Are you sure that you were only talking about the rapport? You look a little…"

"A little what?"

"I'm not sure. It's like you've got something on your mind that you can't tell me."

"How could you possibly see that?" Ryan shrugged.

"I've known you for a while Natalia, I can see when you've got something on you mind that's bothering you."

"Ok, fine. It was something else."

"Which was…?" Natalia bit her lower lip, not knowing what to do now.

"The department rules says that two CSIs can't date."

"Yeah, I know. What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well, Horatio got this strange idea that you and I had something together and he decided to bring it up when we got done with the rapport."

"So what, he told you we should break up?"

"The opposite actually, he said we should ignore the rules and go for it." Natalia looked up and saw a small grin spread on his face. "I mean, if he was fine with Calleigh and Eric so he was bound to be fine with us too right?"

"Right. If there was any us."

"Which there isn't."

"Exactly." The tension was so thick you could literally cut through it.

"About the girls back in Boston…" Natalia said, desperate to break it.

"I've already told you; I was a teenager driven by hormones! And I did some mistakes, yes, but…"

"Relax Ryan! I wasn't talking about that." Natalia smiled. "I was going to ask you about the girl they kept mentioning. You know, Demi?"

"Oh, ok. No"

"No?"

"No, I'm not telling you about her. At least not until we're married with children." his cocky grin immediately fell when he saw the shock in her eyes. "I mean…"

"Don't worry, I get it." Natalia looked away while another uncomfortable silence filled the room. Thankfully it was interrupted by the computer's beeping.

"And we've got a match! I should probably get this to Horatio." Ryan murmured and took the paper.

"Yeah… And, ehm, Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"You know, since we don't have to worry about department rules anymore… Maybe we should work on me getting to know what happened to Demi. You could take me to another wrestling thingy maybe?" Natalia had absolutely no idea what got her to say that. She really didn't. Maybe what Horatio had said had affected her more than she thought?

"I thought you hated that." Ryan frowned.

"I did. But after meeting you exes in Boston I've come to realize that your experience with dating is a little different from most people's. I mean, they thought that Mexican wrestling was **the** most romantic thing a guy could take them to. So I figured I'd just play along. And now I'm going to shut up." she felt her cheeks going hot but Ryan just looked at her with and amused expression.

"What about I'll take you to dinner instead? And maybe a movie?" Natalia couldn't help the smile that crept over her lips.

"That sounds great."

"Then it's a date. I'll see you when your shifts ends." And with that he was gone.

Horatio was meanwhile still sitting in his office, remembering the events leading to the photo being taken.

**Wow, 6 and a half pages. Must be my longest chapter yet.**

**Once again I prove that romantic scenes aren't my strongest side. But you guys got the point at least, right? Oh well. The next few chapter will be flashback, unless I come up with a totally random last minute idea, like I always do :P**

*** For this chapter I watched "Under the influence" so many times I practically know every line by heart now, but I still can't figure out what he said at that exact spot…**

**** I think that was what he said…**

**And as always: don't forget to review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**So to clear some things out: This story is about Ryan's mother and her side of the family, kind of. The other story, "I was going to hell anyway", was (is) more related to how it was when he lived with his father. Same thing with the "Blue Band tradition" one-shot story. So those stories have absolutely nothing to do with the flashbacks in this story. I know that I've probably already mentioned this, but I'm not sure so I figured that I'd stay on the safe side : ).**

**Thanks to reviewers, favoriters and subscribers!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own etc…**

_Flashback_

"Homicide?" Lieutenant Amanda Wolfe said doubtfully from behind her desk.

"Homicide." Officer Horatio Caine repeated.

"Caine, you've been here for about two years. There's no way they're letting you work homicide already."

"Why not? My test went great, I've got a spotless track record and I do my job well." he shrugged.

"Look, if officers who've worked here for a much longer time than you, who have also done great on their tests, don't get to work homicide, why should you? It's not like Morris to just allow someone who's only worked here for **two years** to get that kind of promotion unless he's got some special reason." At the saying of her last words Horatio's expression changed and got a little insecure. It only lasted a second before he got back to his normal secure expression, but it didn't go past her. "What did you do Caine?"

"Nothing bad. I just… Morris said the same thing that you did, that I was too young and had too little experience so I suggested that I'd work with someone who has experience in homicide who could like, you know, mentor me."

"You do realize that no one is going to want to mentor you? Everyone has worked hard to get to homicide, they're not going to be willing to give some officer a free ride no matter how good he is."

"Well, you're in homicide." he said slowly. She suddenly moaned when she realized what he was asking her for and put her face in her hands.

"Harry, please don't say you used my name as a way to scare Morris into letting you do this. I've worked hard to get him wrapped around my finger and I don't want you or anyone else to take advantage of that."

"I didn't! I just said that you'd probably be willing to mentor me and he said that if you agreed…"

"Why would you think that I would agree?" she said looking up.

"Because you owe me, remember?" he said confidently, a small grin appearing on his lips.

"You're not seriously still thinking about the favor I promised you two years ago? You looked after my kid for two hours! I'm going to have to mentor you for at least a year before Morris gets satisfied!" The insecurity immediately came over Horatio and his grin fell.

"I, ehm…" She sighed loudly.

"Fine, I'll do it! But from now on if I'm busy with work and you're not, you're taking care of Ryan, deal?"

"Deal!" he said happily. He'd looked after Ryan a few times after the first time when he'd first met Wolfe and he and the kid came along pretty well. Or, at least as well as a two year old and his once in a while babysitter could get along.

-/-

"I can't believe you're going to work homicide! Good job!" Carl Wilson said happily and gave Horatio a clap on his shoulder.

"Thanks." he responded, a big grin on his face.

"Come on! The only reason you got in is because you're sleeping with that woman." Horatio immediately blushed at Herm's comment. They couldn't possibly know about the secret dreams he'd had over the last two years? He'd worked hard on covering it up through putting his emotions in a little box in the back of his mind. Although in the nights the forbidden content in that box would sometimes come out and occupy his mind and…

"I'm not sleeping with her!" he said loudly. "She's a friend who owes me a favor, that's it."

"Don't care about him. He's just jealous." Wilson said happily.

"I'm not jealous!"

"Well I am! I would love to work homicide. It's better pay, better working hours, and you get to follow up. I'm applying the moment I finish my bachelor in genetics. I've heard they need people who know that kind of stuff." Horatio and Herm stared at Wilson's happy face.

"Why are you always so happy?" Herm asked. Carl shrugged.

"Why are you always so grumpy?" he shot back.

"He's got a point." Horatio inflicted.

"Oh shut up you two."

"But see this on the good way; Caine have someone on the inside helping him out, and that's Wolfe. When he's done with the mentoring period he's going to be **our** guy on the inside and then he'll help us to get in to homicide. Right Horatio?"

"Of course." he responded without blinking. He, Herm and Wilson had been roommates in the academy together with another guy who'd gotten a job upstate. They were like brothers and he'd do anything for them, just like he'd do for his biological younger brother.

"Great."

"Caine!" Wolfe shouted from behind him. "We've got a murder. Get in the car now!"

"Yes ma'am."

-/-

"One year's passed. Soon you'll be a homicide detective. How are you feeling?" Amanda asked while clothing her son.

"Great! I can't believe it's gone so fast." Horatio said happily, watching the three year old trying to get out of his mother's grip.

"Don't want, it's hot!" he said loudly.

"You have to wear clothes Ryan, it's just how it is!" Amanda answered annoyed.

"No! Tell her I don't have to uncle Harry!" Ryan said and wrapped his arms and legs around Horatio's left leg.

"Your mother is right, you have to take your clothes on." he smiled down at the pouting child.

"Fine!" Ryan walked over to his mother again and let her drag the shirt over his head.

"So **him** you listen to, but not me?"

"Yes, I do!" he said loudly. "Uncle Harry is **almost **the best uncle in the world!"

"Oh really? Then who's the best uncle in the world?" Amanda said amused.

"Uncle Ronny of course! He brings toys."

"Of course. Then who do you love most, mom or uncle Ronny or uncle Harry?"

"MOM!" he yelled and gave his mother a big hug. She laughed and kissed his head.

"I love you too sweetie." she whispered to her son and hugged him tightly. Horatio suddenly felt like he was intruding on a precious family moment. But still, he couldn't help but wish that he could join that hug.

Then the phone rang and the moment was broken. Amanda quickly stood up and answered.

"What do you want Morris?" she said annoyed when she heard the voice in the other end. "I can't come in, I have the day of remember?" she continued. "Double homicide?" she sighed "I'm with my son, so I couldn't come in even if I wanted to." she said frustrated. "I can't get a nanny on such a short notice. Why don't you call someone else?", "Oh, you don't know? Then maybe my idea wasn't that bad after all.", "Fine, I'll come in but I'm bringing Ryan with me.", "Yes I'll get Caine too, goodbye." She hung up and looked over at Horatio. "Want to help me catch one last bad guy before becoming an official homicide detective?"

"Always." Horatio responded.

"And you, do you feel for coming with mom to work?" she said and looked down at her son.

"Always." Ryan repeated after Horatio and Amanda laughed.

-/-

"We can't just let him go!" Amanda said angrily to Morris. "We know he did it." She looked over at a middle aged man in an expensive suit who had a smug smile on his face who was standing by the reception desk.

"There's nothing we can do about it. There's no evidence." Morris answered just as angry. "We're just going to have to deal with it." then he glanced over at Wolfe and sighed. "You're not going to deal with it are you?"

"This man killed two innocent people and he's just walking out, how am I suppose to just let it go?"

"Do you have any better plan?"

"Let me talk to him alone…"

"No. I've already had enough complaints about you getting too physical with the suspects. I don't need any more of that."

Horatio was standing beside them silently. He'd seen the force with which she's pushed the man down against the hood of the car when she arrested him. He knew that she could get a little angry, but never to the degree the other cops seemed to fear. Maybe she'd done something before he'd joined that had gotten Morris to not want to put her in an interrogation room with a suspect on her own?

"So he's just going to walk away?" She followed the man with her eyes as he walked past the reception desk.

"For now."

"Get away kid!" the man suddenly said and Horatio saw the man push away Ryan out of his way.

"Hey! Stop that!" Wolfe yelled and ran out to her son. "He's just a kid." She picked him up from the floor and gave him a concerned look. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Can we eat at McDonald's?" The little boy said, oblivious to his mother's concern.

"What? Where did you get that from?" Amanda asked her son surprised.

"The mister's shoe had ketchup on it, and there's ketchup in McDonald's. Can we eat there?"

"Ketchup? On his shoe?" She turned and looked at the man, her eyes wandering from his suddenly concerned eyes to his shoes. "May I take a look at those?"

"I… Ehm…"

"I'll take that as a yes. Give them to me." Morris said, coming up behind her. The man slowly took his shoes off and handed them over to Morris. "Let's see here. There's a red substance under your shoe that looks a lot like blood, did you know that sir?"

"It's like the kid said; it's just ketchup." the man said, the concern obvious in his eyes.

"Then you won't mind us testing it?" The man swallowed and shook his head.

"It can take some time though." Amanda said. "We're going to have to keep you in custody during that time. And then there will be the talk with the DA and the judge, not to mention the trial. It's going to be some long months for you. Then, when we put you in jail, I am going to make sure that you get in to the worst jail of them all, and that you get into a room with a bunch of criminals who've spent their entire lives on the streets, starving. Because you see, those men, they **hate** rich people. And they're for sure going to make your life miserable." Horatio was standing behind Amanda and he couldn't see her facial expression, but by the look on the man she was talking to it wasn't pretty. "Unless."

"Unless what?" the man said quickly.

"Unless of course you confess and make a deal with the DA."

"Ok…"

"Good. Officers." Two officers came up and took the man with them into the department again.

"Would the blood on the shoes really have gotten him convicted?" Horatio asked doubtfully.

"No way, but Amanda is very good at getting people to believe in her. It took some hard work to get the hang of it for her though; she used to be a terrible on getting people to take her seriously. But after what happened to Graham she got determined and…" Morris stopped and gave Horatio a strange look. "Why am I telling you this?"

"I don't know sir."

"Go back to work Caine."

"Yes sir."

"Can we go to McDonald's now?" Horatio heard Ryan ask his mother. She laughed.

"Well, you did help to solve the murder, so I guess you deserve a little gift. Hey Caine!"

"Yeah?"

"Want to come with and celebrate my son's first solved crime." Horatio couldn't help but to laugh at that.

"Sure, why not?"

-/-

"What do you think they're talking about?" Horatio asked concerned while looking in to Morris office. Amanda was standing in front of the captain and their lips were moving fast, like they were arguing. What if Morris had changed his mind and decided that he didn't belong in homicide?

"Don't worry, he's not going to change his mind on you in the last minute. Especially not after all the time he knows Amanda put into helping you. She'd rip his head off." Ron said from beside him as if he'd been reading his mind.

"Then why did she want me to be here?"

"Same reason she wanted me and O'Connell here I guess."

"And why is that?"

"I don't know. What about you O'Connell?"

"I think it's about the team thing." the sergeant said quickly.

"Team thing?"

"Wolfe wants her own team in homicide. She also wants to be able to use that particular team in other crimes like burglary and assault and stuff. But Morris isn't to happy about the idea."

"Why not?"

"That I don't know."

"Wait, you think she wants **us** in the team?" Horatio asked.

"Probably."

"And you're going to accept?"

"Of course." Ron said quickly.

"And you O'Connell?"

"Let's see here… If the team would expand from just homicide to other cases too it would be about fifty extra dollars in the paycheck per week. We'll also only work during the dayshift, so no more late night call outs. And then there's the fact that we get to help a lot more people out. I think I'll accept." O'Connell smiled.

"You've really done your research on this."

"I always do my friends." The door to the office opened and Amanda walked out with a triumphant smile on her face.

"Four people Amanda, that's it." Morris called out and closed the door after her.

"Ok, you guys probably wonder why…"

"Don't worry Amanda, O'Connell explained everything." She smiled against the sergeant.

"I should have figured as much. So Ron, do you want to…"

"I'd be honored." he said and smiled.

"And O'Connell?"

"Yep."

Horatio waited for her to turn and ask him, but she didn't.

"Great. You guys have got the rest of the day off while I finish the paperwork. I'll see you later." Then she turned around to leave. "Caine, are you coming?" she asked suddenly and he hurried after her. "Congratulations Caine, you made it to homicide." she said happily while they walked into the elevator going to the reception floor.

"Ehm… Thanks. About the thing with your team…"

"Yeah?"

He didn't know how to address the question. He wanted to ask why she hadn't asked him to join, but he was afraid that he'd sound desperate.

"Never mind." Wolfe bit her lower lip and for the first time since Horatio had gotten to know her she looked insecure.

"Caine, you know that thorough being in my team you'd get a bit of a money raise…"

"Yeah, O'Connell mentioned it."

"And the expansion of our working area would be a bit more healthy than having to spend the whole days looking at dead bodies. We'll be working homicide too of course but…" She got quiet again.

"Are you asking me to join you?" Horatio asked carefully.

"Kind off."

"Why don't you just say it out loud?" She looked away from him.

"Because… It's understandable if you don't want to."

"So you're making the job seem more appealing so I'll want it." Horatio said and he saw her bit her lower lip again in a nervous twitch.

_Nervous? _She was nervous because of him. She wanted him to join her team. She wanted him to be with her. He could literally feel his heart skip a beat and had to push himself to the limit to keep all those thoughts in the box in the back of his head.

"Just, never mind." the doors opened and she made an attempt to walk out, but he stopped her.

"It would be an honor to work for you." he said and. Her face had already gone back to her normal blank one and she only glanced at him.

"Don't over exaggerate." she mumbled, but he could still see that her lips were fighting a smile. She walked out and he followed.

"Didn't Morris say you could have four people on the team?"

"Yes he did. Why? You have some suggestions?"

"Herm and Wilson." he said quickly.

"I think you need some help with your math. You, O'Connell and Ron equal three people, which means I only have room for one more. Plus, why would I have them anyway? I don't see how they could come to use."

"Why did you want me, Ron and O'Connell?"

"Ron is a good cop. I can always trust that he's got my back. No matter what. Same thing about you Caine."

"What about O'Connell?"

"Same thing. Plus, he's a really good information source, as you might have noticed, considering the time you spend with him."

"He's a friend of mine."

"He's everyone's friend. And he's got a master in psychology, which can come in pretty handy in interrogations." She stopped in front of the reception desk and asked for the papers she needed.

"Well, Wilson just got his bachelor in genetics. He can be useful at the scene." Horatio continued, stopping next to her.

"And Herm?" she said and looked up from the papers.

"He's a good cop." Wolfe looked out in nowhere as if she was weighting her options.

"Bachelor in genetics, that's not bad. What about this; the next case we'll work you bring the two of them and I'll see how well they work. If one of them satisfies me, I'll let him join."

"What if both of the satisfies you?"

"Then I'll talk to Morris and see what happens. Ok?"

"Ok."

**Yes, not much happened in this chapter either but I promise that in next chapter I will finally explain what the hell happened between Amanda and Ryan's father Graham. It's not pretty though, just to give you a heads up. Don't forget to review!**


	9. Chapter 9

_**Man, they weren't kidding when they said that writer's block is a pain in the ass :P**_

_**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own anything except for my own characters and plotline (yet) :P**_

_Flashback_

"Why would I want to work for that woman?" Herm asked and took a big bite from his sandwich.

"Her name is lieutenant Amanda Wolfe." Horatio responded annoyed.

"What ever."

"Look you guys." he said, looking at Wilson and Herm. "This is a great opportunity. It's even better than getting into homicide. It's better pay, more normal working hours, or at least as normal as they get with our work, and even if we work murder too we get a lot of variation, so we won't get too depressed. It's a good job!"

"Why would she want us though? She doesn't even know us. Not the way she knows you at least." Wilson asked.

"I recommended you." he shrugged.

"So she's just going to give us a spot on her team that I guess a lot of other cops want, considering the benefits you mentioned, because **you** asked her to?" Carl said doubtfully.

"Well, no. Not exactly. She wants you to help on the next case, and if she thinks you're off any use she'll take you in. You could see it like a work interview. If it goes well, you're hired. If not, you'll just go back to patrol, no big deal."

"Well, I guess it's a good opportunity… Fine, I'm in!" Horatio turned to his other friend who had been silent for a while.

"Fine, me too. I need the extra money to get a new place anyway." Herm mumbled.

"Great! I'll go tell her." Horatio took his food plate and left the table with a smile on his face.

-/-

Horatio was on his way out the day after, knowing that the next day would be his first as a part of Wolfe's investigation team, or, as the other officer had called it (not him), the WIT. But his smile quickly faded when he saw a staggering woman with bloody clothes literally fall in through the door.

"Ma'am, can I help you?" Horatio said and hurried over together with a few officers, but the woman didn't respond, she just stayed on the floor seemingly lost. "Ma'am can you hear me?" He reached out to take her hand but the moment he touched her she started screaming and he quickly took his hand back, which got her to stop.

"What the hell is going on?" Wolfe said and hurried over to Horatio and the officers who were now too scared to touch the woman in case they'd get the same reaction. "Ma'am?" The woman finally looked up and Horatio saw that she was very young, 25 at highest. She had a split lip and bruises over both her eyes, which were staring at them with terror. "Ma'am, I'm lieutenant Amanda Wolfe, I'm going to help you. Is it okay if I touch you?" The woman nodded carefully and Amanda took her arm and slowly dragged her to her feet. Horatio immediately made a motion to help her but one look from her got him to stop. "Ma'am, can you tell me your name?"

"Ma-Maria." the woman responded quietly.

"Maria, what happened to you? Did someone hurt you?" She only nodded to a respond. "Okay, you know what? I'm going to let my coworker call the hospital and we'll get you checked out, and then we'll take your statement. Is that alright?" Amanda said softly, nodding to an officer to make the call. Maria nodded again. "Okay. Come sit here with me." The two women went and sat next to the reception and suddenly, as if they'd just remembered, everyone went back to their jobs. Everyone except Amanda, Horatio, Ron and Wilson who'd appeared next to him out of nowhere.

"O'Connell is telling Morris that we're taking this case." Ron informed the other two while they watched Wolfe wrap a blanket around Maria, saying things to the woman that they couldn't hear.

"But we're not officially…"

"Look at her." Ron said and nodded against the women. "Do you really think that some paperwork is going to stop her?"

Horatio shook his head, knowing that the older officer was right. Whenever Amanda had her mind set on something, she'd always make a way to get it.

"I'll go get Herm." Wilson mumbled when the paramedics came in and tried to take the woman with them.

"No!" Horatio heard her say with panic in her voice, but Amanda quickly got her to calm down thorough whispering something that no one could hear in her ear.

"I'll go get Herm. Your bachelor can come in handy." Horatio inflicted, even though he really wanted to go with Amanda.

"It's in genetics, not in… Well, whatever this is. But if you insist." he shrugged and followed Ron as he made his way after the paramedics. Wolfe was already in the ambulance with Maria, still whispering soothing words to her and keeping her calm.

-/-

"So, you guys figured out what's going on?" Horatio asked when he and Herm joined Hill, O'Connell and Wilson at the hospital.

"The woman's name is Maria Santos. She's twenty-two, goes to the Miami University studying law and lives alone." O'Connell said quickly.

"That, and the fact that she was beaten, is all we know. But in these cases, best case scenario is that she was mugged." Hill said.

"And what's the worst case scenario?" Horatio was surprised to hear Wilson respond stiffly.

"Rape."

"She was still carrying her bag when she walked in. She wasn't mugged."

"We don't know anything for sure until Amanda comes out." Ron said. "And speaking of the devil…" Amanda came out from the hospital room looking rather pissed off.

"Wolfe, what…?"

"Rape." she said bitterly. "She was raped. The address in on the slip. You guys go there. Wilson and Hill, I want you to check out the crime scene. O'Connell and Herm, I want you to check for witnesses around the area. Try to find anyone who heard or saw something. Caine, you stay with me and take care of the victim." She handed Hill a paper slip with the address on and then retreated to the hospital room without another word.

"Ok, you heard the boss. Wilson, Herm, O'Connell, with me. Caine, you just wait here, she'll probably get out soon." And the four of them left.

Horatio waited for another hour, not daring to go in to the room after seeing the look on Amanda's face, before she came out again. She still looked pretty pissed off, but she also looked scared and sick.

"You okay?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm fine, I just need to get whoever did this and give him a…" She looked up at him and shook her head. "Never mind, let's just find him."

"Yeah…" Horatio murmured in lack of words. Even though Amanda had managed to keep her emotions pretty much in shape since what happened to Thomson, she'd gotten pretty pissed off a few times and it hadn't been a nice sight. But this was different. She seemed more upset than angry, but he couldn't figure out why. But then again, he'd never worked with rape before, or met a victim of it. Maybe it was just how talking to the victim made you feel.

-/-

"Jonas Kin." O'Connell said loudly. "He was spotted by some neighbors and later pointed out by Maria in a lineup. He owns a couple of rental houses downtown and he's got a lot of money. Kind of explains Kendall."

"Kendall?" Horatio asked confused, looking in at the smug looking man who was sitting with his lawyer in the interrogation room, talking to Morris.

"The lawyer. He's a really expensive." The sergeant explained.

"And a real pain in the ass." Wolfe continued from behind them. "How come every guy I arrest ends up being a big shot who can afford a great lawyer like Kendall?" Horatio stared at her. She wasn't kidding, she really wondered.

"Faith I guess. You're the only one who can get to them despite their lawyers and connections, so Faith gives you their cases." Hill said matter-of-factly.

"I don't believe in Faith. Or God." she responded bitterly. Morris stood up and left the room and Wolfe quickly approached him. "So?"

"So…"

"What did he say?" Morris sighed.

"He kind of confessed."

"He **kind of** confessed?" He sighed again.

"Did you know the girl was a prostitute?" Wolfe swallowed.

"She mentioned it."

"And you didn't find it important to mention to me?"

"It doesn't matter, rape is rape."

"No it's not."

"What do you mean it's not?" she said angrily, getting a few heads to turn their way. "That you're a prostitute doesn't mean that you can't get raped!"

"I know that Wolfe! Please calm down and just listen, will you!" Morris said just as angrily. "The DA isn't going to be willing to take this to court, no matter what you or I think, because no judge or jury is going to convict a man that's being accused for raping a **prostitute**. It's hard enough to get people who's raped **children **convicted, and they don't have Kendall as their lawyer."

"So you're letting him out." It wasn't a question, but a statement, but Morris answered anyway.

"Yes." The two of them stared at each other for a while and the detective's expression soon changed from annoyed and angry to, what was that, shameful? "I'm sorry." he said in a much lower tone than before. Amanda just turned around and left without a word. Hill was fast to follow. Horatio tried to go after them but O'Connell held him back.

"You don't want to get involved in that." he said in a low voice, but Horatio ignored him and walked past the sergeant.

"Amanda! Amanda, wait!" he shouted when he caught sight of her and Ron in the parking lot.

"What do you want Caine?" she asked roughly.

"I just want to talk. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." she answered shortly and glared at him while opening the door to her car.

"Amanda, I know that something's wrong. I can tell." He put his hand on the door handle and stopped her from entering the car. He was standing close to her now, too close for her liking it seemed since she inhaled quickly and took a few steps back, before turning her back at him completely and going behind the car where a silent Hill was standing and watching them.

"Stay out of this Caine." Amanda said, her back still against him.

"Why is this bothering you so much? I know that rape is something bad, but it's not the end of the world. And can a prostitute even get raped?" Horatio immediately realized that the words had been a mistake, but it was too late. Amanda immediately turned around and faced him again, and she started taking a few fast steps against him before Hill got a hold of her arm and stopped her.

"Come on, Amanda, let's got home." he said to her, but she didn't seem to hear, her eyes were still glued at Horatio.

"Of course it's not the end of the world for you! Or any man at all. But it is for her!" Normally, in a situation like this, he would expect her face to be lit up by that fire she got in her eyes every time she got angry, but it wasn't this time. She had the same look in her eyes like the one she'd had in the hospital, but ten time worse. She looked hurt, more than anything, as if he'd betrayed her in some way. "You have no idea how it is to feel like you want to crawl up in yourself and just disappear! Or how it is when all of the people that you trust and who should help you turn their back against you! You…"

"Amanda, calm down. Let's just go." Ron interrupted and practically dragged her to the passenger seat of the car, before going back to the drivers' side, where Horatio still was standing, speechless. "Give some room, will you." Ron didn't sound angry, or upset, he just sounded tired. Horatio immediately backed away and let him go in, and then watched them drive away.

"What the hell was that about?" Herm said from behind him. He looked up and saw O'Connell, Herm and Wilson standing there, the latter ones staring at the sergeant.

"I might tell you a lot my friends, but this has to be where I draw the line."

"Why, because you don't want to loose the job she just gave you?" Herm asked skeptically.

"No, because it's not my story to tell. And before you say anything; I know I always say that, but this time I mean it." O'Connell sighed. "It's time for me to get going. My wife is waiting for me. Goodnight you guys." The officers gave him a brief answer as he walked away.

"I bet he'll have told us by the end of this week." Herm said.

"I don't know, he really didn't seem to want to say this one." Wilson responded.

"Yeah, but it's O'Connell. He'll tell eventually. What do you think Horatio?"

"What? Oh, right, O'Connell." Horatio said as he snapped out of his thoughts. "I don't really know…" He drifted off again, thinking about the look on Amanda's face only minutes earlier. "I think I'll leave too. See you guys later." He left before they had any time to answer. He really needed to sort this out with Amanda.

**Ok, I know I promised I'd explain everything about Amanda and Graham (Ryan's father) in this chapter, but I'm kind of in the middle of a writer's block and I only got this far, but I didn't want to put you guys on hold for much longer, so I decided to post this half-done chapter. I promise to try to hurry on the next chapter, although I guess you've all probably already figured out what happened ;)**

**As always: RnR away!**


	10. Chapter 10

**10th chapter, YEEY! And CSI: Miami and Criminal Minds are back, double YEEY! So here comes the story of how Ryan was, you know, made. Can't remember the word on English… Conceived? Is that right? Never mind, you guys get it : )**

**There's going to be about 3 very short flashbacks in the flashback, just so you know.**

**Warning: Mention of rape. But it's NOTHING graphic, don't worry! I just have a friend who pales at just hearing the word "rape" so I figured I'd warn everyone that reacts as strongly as her.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own…**

_Flashback_

Horatio was just about to knock on the front door of Amanda's house when it opened and a tired looking Ron came out.

"Hey, Caine, what are you doing here?" he asked surprised.

"I just wanted to check on Amanda. Is she alright?" Ron glanced inside the house and shrugged.

"She could be better, but she'll get over it. I think." He looked back at Horatio. "You should talk to her, you just might be able to cheer her up. But be careful, you know how she can get." Horatio nodded and went inside, closing the door behind him.

"Who's there?" Amanda said from what he guessed was the kitchen and he hurried over there.

"It's just me." She gave him a quick glance before going back to chopping some vegetables. "Where's Ryan?"

"He's asleep. I'm fixing dinner for him and the nanny for tomorrow." she said without looking up.

"Oh…" An uncomfortable silence settled over the room. "Do you want some help?"

"What are you doing here Caine?" Her voice had suddenly gotten cold and he resisted taking a few steps back.

"Caine, huh? What happened to Harry?" She moved over to the stove, her back against him, silently. "Ok, fine. I'm sorry. What I said was insensible and I should have known better." he said formally.

"Fine, apology accepted. Now leave." she responded just as coldly.

"No." he said baldly. She turned around and raised her eyebrow at him.

"No? You do know that staying here against my will is trespassing, right?"

"What are you going to do, call the police?"

"Or I could shoot you, you pick." She turned her back against him again but he still didn't doubt that she would shoot him if it came to it. Maybe he was doing this the wrong way? He took a few fast steps against her and before she noticed how close he was he grabbed her arm and turned her to face him.

"Amanda, what's going on? And don't tell me nothing, I know you too well for that." He was surprised that she didn't hit him with the pan in her hand at that moment. But she seemed paralyzed. He recognized the look in her eyes as fear; she was scared.

He didn't think he'd ever seen her scared before. And what made matters worse was that she seemed to be scared of **him**.

"Amanda?" he said with a much calmer voice. She seemed to snap out of the paralyze when hearing her own name and quickly pushed him away.

"What the hell Caine!" she said angrily, but he could still se the fear in her eyes. "What's going on in none of your business." She started walking against the door but he stopped her and carefully pushed her against the fridge, feeling rather angry too. Why was it none of his business? Hadn't he always stood up for her against the officers who were whispering behind her back like some High School cheerleaders? Hadn't he helped her our with Ryan every time she needed it? Hadn't he backed up her self-defense story in the double murder case, when the killer had accused her for being too violent in the arrest? He thought he deserved at least a little credit for all of that!

"Let go of me!" she said loudly, panic creeping in to her voice while she tried to push him away, but he remained his grip steady, waiting for her to calm down. But she didn't, she just seemed to get more and more panicked and scared. "Please." She almost begged. "Don't hurt me." she almost whispered at last, closing her eyes and finally stopping to resist his grip.

Horatio had during the three and a half years while working with Wolfe never, ever seen her scared, panicked, upset (unless you count angry as upset), helpless or begging. And **never **in his life did he think that he'd see it either, specially not all in one day. And here it was, all of it, directed towards him.

He slowly took his hands off her.

"I would never hurt you." he said in a hurt voice, remaining close to her. "How could you think I would?" She opened her eyes again and he could see that there were tears in them. Now there was another thing to ass to the list of things he thought he'd never see her do: cry. She leaned her head back and took a few deep breaths, the tears running silently down her cheeks.

"Sorry Harry." she mumbled suddenly.

"About what?"

"Freaking out."

"Amanda, what happened to you?" Even though he guessed he already knew the answer, he had to know for sure. He slowly wrapped his arms around her and took her into a small, worm hug, and to his relief she didn't back away, she actually hugged him back.

_Damn it_! How many times hadn't he dreamed of the moment he'd get to hold her in his arms and have her melt into his touch? But in those dreams she'd been happy, and a little horny. But now…

"What happened to you?" he asked again.

"Long story."

"I'm listening."

"Well, It had been a tough case." she started, talking into his chest. "It was a serial killer case; the 'Call Killer'. Ever heard of him?"

"Not really, no." Horatio confessed. She got out of his embrace and leaned back against the fridge again and looked him straight in the eyes while continuing.

"Well, he raped and killed three brunettes while they were walking their dogs on the beach, killing the dogs first, on Saturday mornings. I was a sergeant at the time, and I, just like a few others, was trying to get Morris to consider me for the vacant spot Lt. Summers left after getting killed in a gunfight. My partner at the time, Connors, who was also trying to get in that 'possible' list, came up with this plan…"

_Flashback 1_

Sergeant Amanda Wolfe tightened her grip on the dog's leash, cursing Connors under her breath. Sure, the plan was good: They'd send a brunette out on the beach with a highly trained dog on a Saturday morning and wait and see if the killer took the bait, and when/if he did, there would be armed police officer there to arrest him. Morris had loved the plan, the only problem was that they couldn't send out a civilian to be a bait for a serial killer, so they figured that they'd send a cop. And wasn't it just their luck that the **only** female cop in the department happened to be a brunette?

Connors had probably predicted that from the beginning, wanting to send her out to the killer and see her freak out. But that wasn't going to happen. She wasn't going to freak out, she never did, except for that one time. But that hadn't been her fault, it had been the stupid OCD of hers that she'd been determined to suppress, but for some reason it always came back to haunt her.

Either way, there she was, walking down the beach in a bikini-top and some very short sweatpants, trying to forget the looks the other cops had given her when seeing her in the outfit. Probably another part of Connors plan. But she was still thankful that he was the one sitting and looking out for her, he was after all her partner, and he would always have her back, no matter how little he liked working with a woman. Right?

"Hey, you! Are you planning to pick that up?" the beach guard shouted to her and pointed against the dog who seemed to have just done his business right on the beach.

_Great, just great._

"I'll do it right now!" she shouted back, knowing that all the other cops were probably laughing at her at that moment.

She picked it up and went over to the trashcan by a closed kiosk in a more secluded area of the beach. Suddenly someone grabbed her from behind and started dragging her behind the kiosk. The dog immediately sprung to action and started barking and attacked the man holding her. But then she saw a flash of something black and the dog got silent, and the man who was holding her pressed something cold against her temple.

"One word and you're dead."

_End of flashback 1_

"Then he raped you." Horatio continued.

"Actually, that part doesn't't come until a bit further into the story. I told you; it's long. Anyway; Connor was suppose to stand guard, but apparently he found talking to some beach babes more important, so I was on my own. I managed to throw the guy off, I was a trained police officer after all, and then I arrested him. Afterwards Morris gave Connor the biggest lecture for not paying attention when I was in a life threatening situation, and then announced that I was on top of his list for the promotion at the moment because I'd managed to fight the guy off and arrest him on my own."

"I don't see how this is a bad story."

"We're getting there."

_Flashback 2_

"Man, Morris was really pissed."

"Yeah, well, I should've looked after her better."

Amanda stepped further into the locker room, doing her best to stay out of Connors's and the four other cops' view.

"Oh please! I bet you left her alone intentionally, hoping that the guy would kill her!" All of the men started laughing, including Connors.

"Well, one can dream, right? I still can't believe that Morris set me up with her! And now he's considering her for lieutenant. I don't think I'll stand having her as a superior." Connors said with disgust in his voice.

"Yeah, Morris is a little strange. If he wasn't, well, the way he is, I'd suspect she was sleeping with him for the promotions." Another round of laughter was heard as Amanda hurried out of the room with angry tears.

"Hey, Amanda, you okay?" Ron said when approaching her.

"I'm fine." she muttered and stopped.

"No you're not. What's going on?" She glanced around the room and sighed.

"Not now Ron, please."

"Fine, our bar, in an hour? I'll pay."

"Yeah, okay. Bye."

_End of flashback 2_

"It hurt, a lot, to hear the people you spend your entire days with, who you're suppose to trust your life with, joking about how much they'd appreciate your death. So to drown my sorrows I went to a bar. Not the one Ron was talking about though, I didn't't feel for his pity. I went to a small, secluded bar that I'd never been in before, and that was where I met Graham." She got quiet and closed her eyes again.

"Graham as in Ryan's father?" Horatio asked surprised. He'd never actually met the guy, but he knew that he visited once in a while and the few times that Amanda or Ron had mentioned him it'd been with venom in their voices.

"Yeah, that's him." she mumbled bitterly, her eyes still closed.

_Flashback 3_

"Hello there." A tall, blond man with a broad, white smile approached her while she was downing her second beer by the bar. "Mind if I sit." She shrugged, which he apparently took as a yes and sat down next to her. He was wearing a dark, seemingly very expensive, suit and Rolex was shining on his wrist; this guy was obviously had way to much money to be on that bar. She couldn't help but wonder what he was doing there. "So, I'm Graham. You are…?"

"Amanda. Nice to meet you."

"So, Amanda. Could I buy you a drink?" She was just about to say yes when she saw a golden ring flash on his left hand.

"No."

"What? Why not?" he said and frowned, the charming smile falling off his face.

"Because you're married."

"So?"

"So… You're married! You have a wife."

"She doesn't really care if I'm with another woman as long as I don't let it interfere with my work and the monthly paycheck." he shrugged.

"Well, I care." she said. "Can I have another beer please?"

She continued the rest of the evening ignoring Graham's continuing attempts to engage her in conversation, and when she finally felt that she was drunk enough to pass out the moment she got home she asked the bartender to get her a cab.

"Wow, you're a smart drunk, asking for a cab." Graham said while following her outside.

"Yes I am." she mumbled in a blurry voice.

"Well, maybe I should drive you home? Then you won't have to pay. At least not with money."

"No thanks." she leaned against the wall by the alley, finding herself wishing that the cab would hurry up to get there. Graham was right: she was a smart drunk, and she could feel that this guy wasn't going to give up. At least in the bar the bartender had kept a worried eye on her, but now they were standing there on their own. Maybe she should get back inside?

"You know, I like that you're so stubborn. Most women agree to anything when they figure I've got money, but you… You're too honorable for that." He stepped closer to her and she got the feeling that he wasn't complementing her. "But you see; I don't like getting rejected. When I want something, I get it. And I want you."

"But you can't have me." Where was that cab?

"The taxi is not coming, I paid the bartender to not call." he said as if reading her mind and took a few more steps towards her. "It's just you and me. Now, are you sure you don't want that ride?"

"I don't want anything from you." she answered boldly and for the second time that day she found herself literally getting dragged by a man, this time into the alley. "Get off me!" she shouted and tried to get him away, but he only laughed and pushed her into the brick wall. She didn't know if it was for the alcohol, the fact that she was tired or because he was a lot stronger then her, but she couldn't fight him off, no matter how hard she tried.

His hand started tracing her body and she heard him mumble something, but she didn't really care what. She just wanted to get away from him, and she thought she'd finally succeeded when his grip loosened a little bit. But then he…

_End of flashback 3_

She trailed off and Horatio couldn't't help but to be thankful; he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the rest of the story. "he…" she trailed off again.

"It's okay, you don't have to say it. I understand." He pulled her into another tight hug and she snuggled into his neck, sending shivers down his spine. "Why isn't he in jail?" he asked suddenly.

"Short version or long version?" she mumbled while pulling out of his embrace again.

"Why stop the long versions now?" he mumbled and she gave him a small smile.

"Fine, but let me finish with the food first, before it burns."

"Ah, ok." He backed away and let her get past him.

"You can wait in the living room, you know where I always put the remote."

"Ok." he said again and went into the living room, although he didn't feel for watching the television. He just waited silently for her to come back while trying to digest what she'd just said. He couldn't believe that all that had happened and the guy still got to come and visit.

Amanda came to the living room looking a lot calmer and to his delight she snuggled up against his in the couch. Now, how many times hadn't he dreamed about** that**? Only in the dreams, like in the hug, she was happy and horny. Although by the time they got to the couch in his dreams she would also be half naked and…

_Seriously dude? Now?_

He shook away the thoughts and wrapped his arm around her and pushed his face into her hair, taking in her smell. If this was as far as he got with her, it was fine for him. As long as he could have her close.

"So what happened?"

"Well…" she sighed. "Remember that I told you my father and grandfather both were respected cops? And so was my great uncle?"

"Yeah."

"Well, becoming a cop was a family thing, as you've probably figured, and the next male in the family was suppose to carry on with the tradition. My dad was the only son, which was why he and grandpa got so happy when he heard that mom was pregnant with my younger brother. Now they had someone to keep up the family honor. But then mom got sick while she was pregnant and she died during childbirth. My brother was very sick too and was very weak, he died when he was about twelve. That was when I decided to carry on the family honor instead.

Ron, my dad's partner's son and my best friend, and I applied to the academy together. Our father's had to help us get in though; Ron was very clumsy of nature and people weren't sure he was fit to become a cop, and I was…. Well, I was a woman. But I still made it though the academy and into the NYPD. At first I was so happy, but after a while I started realizing how little everyone wanted me there. They all respected my father though and accepted me because of that, but no one respected me. For years I tried to be someone I wasn't; suppressing my OCD and trying to be nice to everyone, doing anything to get their respect, but it didn't work. And when I got promoted it only got them to hate me even more. And sure, I had Ron, but he was still and officer so we didn't work together very much and we had different working hours. O'Connell and Morris and some others were rather nice to me some times, but the majority hated my guts. They didn't think I deserved to be there, they all thought I got the job and the promotions because of my father and when he died they stopped being afraid of showing their hatred.

After I got… You know… Attacked, no one took it seriously.

I mean, Ron got **really **pissed off of course, I'm practically his little sister, and O'Connell and Morris and two, three other officers I'd been in the academy with believed in me too, but all the others didn't. At least they didn't make it sound like they did. Morris had to force the DA to take my case to a judge, and when he did the judge just dismissed all the charges."

"Wait a minute, the judge couldn't just dismiss it! I mean, you were a cop, those cases are taken seriously!" Horatio exclaimed. She gave him a weak smile and snuggled up closer to him, putting her head on his shoulder.

"Not if the guy you're accusing has a lawyer as expensive as the one Graham had. And that my partner told the judge about how I managed to fight off the Call Killer when he attacked me and that if I hadn't wanted Graham I could have just fought him off too didn't exactly help me either. With other words: I asked for it."

"Connors actually said that?"

"Yep. And Graham backed it up and said that I'd asked for it." she mumbled bitterly. "Morris fired Connors the day after the charges were dismissed, saying that no one wanted to work with a cop who didn't cover your back."

"What happened then?"

"I took some time off and simply broke down. Ron would stop by everyday and check up on me to make sure that I was eating and breathing. Then I found out I was pregnant and I just freaked. I didn't know what to do with a kid. It was before I found out there was two of them by the way.

Anyhow, Ron came by that particular day too, after I had calmed down a bit, and in an attempt to cheer me up he told me that he had bet against thirty fellow officers that I would come back and work at the police station within the month."

"**That **was what he said to cheer you up?"

"What can I say? Ron is the way he is." Horatio couldn't help but to chuckle a little bit. "But it did actually make me feel better. I suddenly got a mission; I was going to prove everyone wrong and go back, not as the smiling little girl who was trying to please everyone, but as my own OCD, anger-management help needed self. If not for me, for my child. And I **did **go back, and I **did **prove everyone wrong, and during seven months I managed to earn the promotion to lieutenant on a way that took away any rumors about me getting all of my promotions because of my dad, and everyone's respect. Or, at least most people's respect. Some people still didn't like me, like Emerson for example."

"But that still doesn't explain why Graham comes over here all the time and visits Ryan."

"I told you: he's got a great lawyer. And when he on some unknown way found out that I was having his child he threatened to use his lawyer to get full custody, but I managed to convince him to settle for a custody agreement that said that he could get Ryan every second weekend. He never comes by that often though, thankfully, and when he does he doesn't keep him for that long either, so it's not that bad of an agreement. Plus, a boy needs his father." She shrugged and let out a yawn.

"Seems like you're tired." Horatio stated. She nodded and stood up, leaving him feeling rather cold without her.

"Thanks for making me feel better." she said and smiled at him.

"But I didn't do anything."

"You listened, that's enough sometimes." He smiled back at her and stood up.

"Well, that's what friends are for."

"Come on Harry, you know you're more than just a friend for me." Horatio could literally feel his own heart stop. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? "You're like my little brother." He didn't know that he'd kept his breath until she said that and he forced on a smile to cover his disappointment.

"Yeah. And you're like my sister." he mumbled without any enthusiasm, but she didn't seem to notice.

"I'm going to bed now, can you lock the door when you leave?"

"Yeah, sure. Goodnight Amanda."

"Goodnight Harry."

**Ok, there you go! I hope it's not too blurry with all the flashbacks and dialogue. **

**Next chapter: The photo. I was planning on putting it in this chapter but it turned out too long, so you'll just have to wait :P**

**As always: RnR away : )**


	11. Chapter 11

**The events in this chapter take place the day after the events is the last two chapters, just so you know.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own etc.**

Horatio stopped in his tracks when he walked into the department after lunch and saw the disturbing scene that was playing out before him. The victim from the previous day was sitting on the department floor, shaking uncontrollably. The rapist, Jonas Kin, was standing close by with a smile that got Horatio to feel sick. Amanda was standing between the two looking like she felt for ripping the guy's head off, or even more; his privates.

"What the…?"

"You don't want to know." Like always when anyone had a question O'Connell seemed to have magically appeared next to him. "But I'll tell you anyway: The guy came here again to see the woman he raped to tell her that he was sorry over what had happened."

"Really? Because he doesn't look very sorry." Horatio said skeptically.

"Well, he isn't. The moment he saw her he started laughing and calling her… Well, let's just say if anyone called my wife that, I'd kill the guy. And speaking about killing: how long do you think it'll take Wolfe to do it?"

"She wouldn't kill him in a police station in broad daylight." Ron was suddenly standing next to them too. "She would wait until it got dark and try to get him on his own. On that way she'd be able to dispose of his body privately." He shrugged and walked closer to Amanda, who seemed to have just directed two officers to get young Maria out of there.

"He's kidding, right?" Horatio asked O'Connell.

"Come on Caine, you know better than that. Of course he's not kidding."

"Why is there a hysterical woman in your office Wolfe?" He suddenly heard Morris say as he walked in to the reception area. Horatio looked around and noticed that Ms. Santos indeed wasn't there anymore, and that most officers had gone back to their work.

"Don't worry about it Morris, I'll take care of it when I come back." Amanda responded with a surprisingly calm voice.

There was no trace of the anger she'd radiated when Horatio first walked in and she had a small smile on her face. _What the hell?_

"Come back? Where are you going?"

"I'm driving Mr. Kin home. You know, I figured that since I was going that way anyway so…" she shrugged and gestured to the smiling Mr. Kin to go outside.

"Amanda, I don't think that's such a good…" Morris started in a low voice when the man had left them.

"Don't worry, I won't kill him." Morris looked at her doubtfully and she sighed. "I'll take Hill and Caine with me, okay? I'll probably need them at the scene anyway." She went outside, quickly followed by Hill and a confused Horatio.

"Why is she so calm?" he asked Hill carefully, but he only got a silent shrug in return. And, as if thing weren't strange enough, she actually made him and Ron sit in the back while she drove and Kin sat next to her. And during the whole ride she nodded in agreement to whatever he was babbling on a bout.

There was definitely something strange going on.

The car stopped in front of a big, yellow house and they all walked out.

"Thanks for the ride lieutenant." the man said with a cocky smile.

"Oh, it was nothing. I told you; I was going this way anyways." Amanda gave him a sweet smile and Horatio got the feeling that she actually meant it.

_Who are you and where's the real Amanda?_

"Well, if you have time, why don't you come inside for a drink?"

"Sure." she shrugged and followed the man inside.

"You might want to wait here." Hill said in a low voice as he followed, but Horatio didn't listen. There was something going on and he was going to find out exactly what it was.

The inside of the house was just as impressive as the outside and he couldn't help but notice that the kitchen alone was bigger than his own apartment.

"Sit down." Jonas said and gestured for them to sit by a small table by a big window. Horatio glanced at the window and was surprised to notice that Ron had already started closing the blinds on it.

"No, Mr. Kin, why don't you sit down." Amanda responded with another sweet smile.

"Why…?" Ron quickly grabbed the man and pushed him down on one of the chairs. "What's going on?"

"Let, me tell you what's going on, Mr. Kin." She still had that sweet smile on when she whet over to the stove, which was placed in front of the table. "I made a promise to Ms. Santos that I would find whoever hurt her and make him pay." she turned on the stove and picked up a fork that was lying right next to it. "And since I've found you already, it's time to make the rest of the promise come true." she put the fork on the stove and waited for it to get hot.

"Wait a minute, you can't do that!" He tried to stand up while talking but Ron just pushed him down again and pressed his face down on the table. "Let go of me! This is police brutality!" he exclaimed. "Your boss told you to let me go."

"Well, since when have I cared about what Morris says?" She turned off the stove and picked up the fork again. She slowly walked over and let it swing in front of Kin's eyes so he could see how orange it'd gotten by the heat. "And when it comes to police brutality: It will be your word against three police officers'. Who do you think they'll believe, huh?" She moved it closed to his deer in a headlight big eyes and he tried to move away, but Ron's grip was too strong.

"No, don't, please." he whimpered, still trying to fight Ron off, even though they all knew it was a lost battle.

"Caine, get out of here." Amanda said suddenly, her eyes still glued to Kin.

"What? Why?"

"Just go, I don't need you to see this. It's an order." she said in a stern voice and Horatio couldn't help but to obey; he'd never broken a direct order. Although he had broken a few indirect ones; you were kind of bound to do that while working with Wolfe.

When he got outside he saw another police car in the driveway which O'Connell, Herm and Wilson were currently emerging from.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked them surprised.

"Morris thought that you might need some help at the scene, but when he went through the calls it showed up there wasn't any crime scene to go to. So he sent us here instead, to make sure that she didn't indeed kill the guy." O'Connell said with a shrug. "Has she done it yet? I'm kind of hungry, I didn't have time for lunch, and there's a great diner not too far from here." As a response a terrible scream came from the house and everyone turned and looked at the closed door. "I'll take that as a no."

"Wait, you're telling me that she's killing him in there?" Herm asked when the scream ended.

"No, it didn't seem like she was actually planning to kill him, it just looked like she wanted him to suffer." Horatio responded when another scream was heard.

"Then we have to stop her!" Herm said.

"Why?"

"Because it's against the rules."

"The guy broke the law, he doesn't really have the right to complain about some rule." Horatio responded.

"All he did was to buy sex from a prostitute. If we'd arrest every guy who did that the prisons would be filled by now."

"He didn't just buy sex, he raped her."

"Oh, please, girls don't get raped. It's just something they say for attention." Horatio stared at his friend. Normally, he'd probably just let the matter go, it was Herm after all. But after last night, when Amanda had told him her story, he couldn't help but to take it as a personal insult.

"That's not true. Getting forced into…"

"They're not forced into anything. They ask for it."

Both Horatio and O'Connell had their fist raised at the time, but to everyone's surprise it was Wilson who hit him first. Horatio and O'Connell had to grab on to their friend's arm so stop him from giving the grounded Herm another few hits to the face.

"You don't know **anything** about this, so you can shut the fuck up!"

And now Wilson was cussing. It seemed like someone had made a huge effort to make everyone's behavior surprise Horatio during the last 24 hours.

"What's happening out here?" With everything going on no one had noticed that the screaming inside the house had stopped and that Hill and Wolfe had emerged.

Amanda's eyes were going from the bloody nosed Herm who was coming up to his feet and O'Connell and Horatio who were still holding an angry looking Wilson by the arms and she gave them a questioning look. Horatio and Jack quickly let go of Wilson who's expression changed from angry to guilty in a heartbeat.

"I punched Herm in the face ma'am." he said while looking down on his shoes like a child who'd just been caught steeling from the cookie jar.

"I think I figured as much, officer Wilson, but why?"

"He insulted my sister ma'am."

"What? No I didn't!" Herm said and everyone turned and faced him.

"Yes you did! You talked about her… You talked about her accident."

Wilson was blushing furiously as this was a subject he really didn't like discussing and Horatio suddenly remembered their first day at the academy, when they'd been asked why they wanted to become officers. Everyone had answered the same thing: 'To serve and protect'. But Wilson had broken the chain and said he'd wanted to become a cop because his sister had been in an accident and barely survived, but the police had never been caught the man who caused it, and he wanted to make sure that another man like that wouldn't get away. Everyone had assumed that his sister had been in a drunk driver accident or something like that, but now…

"I never mentioned…" Herm protested.

"Yes he did." Horatio interrupted. "And if Wilson hadn't hit him first, I would've done it."

"Same here." O'Connell said, giving Amanda a look that clearly said 'I'll explain later'.

"Okay. Let's just get going. O'Connell and Wilson, you come with me back to the station. Hill, Caine, you drive Herm to the hospital and make sure that he gets fixed up, then meet me by Morris's office in an hour."

"Wait, what about Mr. Kin?" Horatio asked.

"Don't worry about him, he'd not going to bother us for a while. And no, he's not dead. He's just been taught a lesson." she said and looked at O'Connell.

"What? I never said anything."

"Of course you didn't."

-/-

"So what's happened while we were gone?" Horatio asked as he once again found himself outside Morris's office while watching him and Amanda in what seemed like another argument.

"Not much. First she talked to Ms. Santos before she had her driven home. Then she asked me about what happened outside Kin's house and then she came here to talk to Morris." O'Connell answered simply. "Where's Herm?"

"We left him at the hospital."

"Did I really hit him so hard that they had to keep him over him over the night?" Wilson asked anxiously.

"Actually they cleared him really quickly. We just left him there anyway." Horatio shrugged.

"And you took his wallet with you too to stop him from being able to take a cab, right?" O'Connell said slightly amused.

"Of course." Hill answered and took up Herm's wallet from his pocket.

"Should you really have done that?" Wilson asked.

"Of course! After what he said about…" Horatio got quiet and Hill and O'Connell immediately turned away and started talking about football, leaving him and his friend to talk on their own. "…your sister. She was raped, wasn't she?" Wilson nodded. "But I thought you moved out of our old apartment to and live with her and help her with problems with the aftermath of the accident."

"Well, I do! Even though it's been a long time she's still rather depressed and scared. She spends her entire days locked into her own closet, or the bathroom, and she goes ballistic if she's around too many people, and if anyone but me or my parents touch her she start screaming. She doesn't talk very much, she barely eats unless you force her and she barely sleeps because of nightmares. My parents got tired of looking after her and kicked her out, so I decided to take care of her instead."

"I'm guessing that's also why you didn't want to talk to your mother when she came to the station to see you?"

"Yeah, I still can't forgive her. Or dad if that matters."

"What about the guy who did it? They still haven't caught him?"

"Actually, they **did **catch him. But the case never even made it to court. The guy said she asked for it, apparently all rapists do." he said bitterly. "I promised myself that if I'd ever end up arresting that guy, I would…" He got quiet as Amanda and Morris came out of the office.

"I'll get Herm a new partner tomorrow." Morris said.

"Good. Wilson, a word please." Amanda said and looked over at them.

"Ma'am, I know I stepped over the line, but if you'd just give me another chance…"

"Okay." she interrupted.

"I could prove to you… What?"

"Okay, I'll give you another chance. Or better yet: I'm promoting you." she handed over the new badge everyone in homicide was given.

"But I hit a fellow officer."

"You stood up for your sister, nothing else. Now, do you want the badge or not?" Her hand was still in mid air holding the badge towards him and Wilson quickly took it from her.

"Thank you lieutenant."

"Don't thank me, you deserved it. And tell you sister to call me some time, I think we have a few things in common." Wilson nodded towards her and she smiled. It wasn't a smile like the ones she'd given Kin earlier, but it was a real, genuine smile that got Horatio's legs to go soft, again. "So, who's hungry?" Everyone immediately acknowledged their hunger. "Great, then let's go for dinner."

"Yeah, and Herm's paying." Hill said and showed them the content of Herm's wallet.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Morris said from behind them.

"Why don't you come with us? As Hills just said; Herm's paying." Amanda asked him.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" he shrugged.

-/-

"You know what they call this team, right?" Morris asked while signaling for the waitress to get him another beer.

"No, what?" Amanda responded.

"Wit."

"What?"

"W-I-T. Wolfe's investigation team." O'Connell said with a smile.

"That's a terrible name."

"No it's not." Horatio said, noticing that the alcohol was getting to him. "I think it's nice."

"No, change it!"

Okay, obviously he wasn't the only one the alcohol was getting to.

"What about just investigation team? IT." Ron suggested.

"Isn't IT something with computers?"

"Okay, what about Crime fighting team?"

"Wolfe's crime fighting team."

"Keep my name out of this!"

"And your job isn't to fight, it's to investigate." Morris pointed out, giving Amanda a meaningful look.

"Crime investigators." Jack said thoughtfully.

"Crime investigators on the spot." Ron said.

"You mean on the scene? Crime investigators on the crime scene."

"No, that doesn't sound right. What about 'Crime Scene Investigators'? CSI for short." Wilson suggested. Everyone got quiet while thinking the name through.

"Nah." Amanda said at last.

"Okay, what about…"

"Look, you guys, we don't need a name! Let them call us what ever they want." Amanda exclaimed.

"You're right. We don't need a name. What we need is a photo." Ron said and to everyone's surprise he fished out a camera from his front pocket.

"No…" They groaned but he ignored them.

"Just stand up everyone, it's going to be quick. Morris, would you mind?" He handed the camera to Morris and everyone stood up. "On the count of three."

"One." Horatio looked over at Amanda who was smiling calmly against the camera.

"Two." He went closer to her and slipped his arm around her waist and was happy that she didn't pull away, which meant that things were like normal again, because even though they'd normally never hug the way they'd done the day before in her kitchen, it had happened very often that he'd ended up wrapping one of his arms around her shoulders or her waist like now and every time her smile would just get bigger.

"And three." He barely even noticed the flash that came from the camera when their picture was taken.

**Oh Herm, why did you have to end up to be as bad as Emerson?**

**And now we know where Horatio got his violent methods from. And yes, I took the part with the fork from the scene in "Hunting Ground". And no, it's not a coincidence that Ryan happened to have been in that scene holding the guy down. Like mother like son, right?**

**Now this time, please don't forget to review!**

**Or, as I always say: RnR away!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**It's been pointed out that it's been a little confusing with the names by both **GoldieFlow **and a friend of mine who enjoys reading this fic. I know that I have a tendency to jump between the characters' first and last names and that it can be a little hard to know what name belongs to who so here's some clarification:**

**Officer Ron "Ronny" Hill**

**Officer Carl Wilson**

**Sergeant Jack O'Connell**

**Jon Kin (the rapist in the last three chapters who won't show up again.)**

**Detective (No first name yet) Morris**

**Officer (No first name) Herm**

**Graham Altman (Ryan's dad. I haven't mentioned his last name before.)**

**This chapter will begin in present time but then there'll be about two small flashbacks, one to the episode "Burned" and the other one back to Amanda/Horatio time. This is kind of an explaining chapter and it doesn't affect the romances in the story.**

_Present_

Horatio watched Natalia and Ryan talking in the DNA lab. Everyone had noticed that they were standing a little too close to each other lately, and that they always seemed to smile when the other came into the room. But they had resisted talking about it out loud considering how strict the new IAB agent was. Compared to him Stetler had been a real softy.

Natalia carefully touched Ryan by the eye where the nail had gone in and Horatio remembered the time when Ryan had barely been able to see. Any other man would have 'let him go', but Horatio hadn't had the heart to do it. Just like when he'd covered for him when he'd let his anger take the best off him, just like he'd done all those times with Amanda. Although in the end he did end up fired anyway because of his gambling problems.

To be honest he'd felt that there was something going on when Tripp had told him that Michael Lipton had asked to talk to Ryan personally, which was the real reason why he'd gotten Yelina to follow him in the first place.

_Flashback to __"__Burned__"_

"Horatio!" Yelina said as she approached Horatio outside the MDPD.

"Hey." he responded.

"I have to say; twice in one day? It's more than I've seen you in months." she said smilingly.

"I apologize for that."

"No, I understand completely. Let's just say it's been a rough year for both of us. Why did you want to see me?"

"Yelina. Michael Lipton." He looked up at a man who was walking out of the building with his lawyer. "Michael Lipton just made bail."

"And you don't think he should have." she stated.

"Not by a long shot. Could you shadow him for me?" _And see what kind off connection he has to Ryan?_

"No problem. I'll see where he hangs out. What he knows*."

"Every step he takes." He turned around and left, hoping that there was no reason for him to be worried.

"So why are we out here?" Horatio asked Yelina as they walked to the bench.

"I tracked Michael Lipton to four locations." Yelina responded and sat down on the bench. "All of them secluded."

"Possible drug dealing?" he asked, trying not to think about Ryan being addicted; he was probably just overreacting.

"No, I don't think so. From what I could tell, he was just a bookie." Horatio looked down on her, not knowing if he should feel relieved or even more stressed out since he knew for a fact that Graham had gambled a lot. "But I found something else. Something you're not going to like. I shot this video in North Bay village." She showed him the video and he immediately felt his heart drop when he recognized Ryan walking towards Lipton on the bridge.

"What am I looking at?" he asked, even though he wasn't sure he wanted to know. Ryan handed over an envelope to Lipton on the video.

"There is money in this envelope Horatio." And to prove what she said Lipton opened the envelope and revealed the money. Horatio looked away from the screen; he didn't want to see anymore. Yelina opened and closed her mouth, trying to comfort him somehow.

"Maybe he had a good reason for it." she said at last with a bit of pity in her voice. She knew how much Amanda and Ryan had meant to Horatio and she knew that he was hurting.

"What if he doesn't?" Horatio responded roughly, avoiding to look at her, wishing for the first time that his gut feeling had been wrong.

"Hey H, you wanted to see me?" Ryan said when he walked into the room.

"Have a seat Mr. Wolfe." Horatio said and Ryan sat down in front of him trying to look confident, although it was obvious to him that he was uncomfortable. He sighed. "Michael Lipton."

"Yeah, Michael Lipton is a… Is a friend of mine. Why do you ask?" Horatio had noticed that just like Amanda always bit her lower lip when she was nervous, Ryan had the habit of scratching his face when he was nervous, or annoyed, or uncomfortable on any way to be honest. And right now he was definitely nervous.

"You interrogated him this morning." he said, trying not to sound like he was blaming him for something.

"Actually I -** myself for interrogating him because I ehm… Well I thought it'd be looked on as a conflict of interest."

"I have a piece of videotape that says otherwise." Ryan's face fell a little bit, but he quickly regained control.

"I don't know what you saw on that videotape…"

"Mr. Wolfe, I need to know what's going on." Horatio interrupted, not wanting to hear some thought out lie.

"Michael is a friend of mine who's having some sort of financial problem, and I'm just helping him out."

"So this has nothing to do with gambling?"

"No this has nothing to do with gambling."

Seems like he got a lie anyway, but he wasn't going to give up.

"If there's something I should know this is your opportunity." he urged him, seeing Stetler walking in.

"No there's nothing you need to know." Ryan insisted. "And this is my personal business and I'd like to keep it that way." But Horatio kept going anyway.

"If you don't level with me right now you're not going to have a choice, you understand?." he said, feeling a little desperate.

"Yeah, I understand." It got quiet and eventually Ryan stood up ready to leave. He scratched his face again, leading Horatio to hope that maybe the nervousness got the better of him and that he'd crack. "Are we done?" Apparently not.

"We're done." he said, feeling betrayed somehow.

"Okay." He turned and left and Horatio couldn't believe that the smiling little boy who'd used to love hugging his leg had turned into this man. But who could blame him considering that he'd spent ten years of his childhood with a man like Graham Altman.

Horatio found himself once again watching Ryan Adam Wolfe walking out of his life, this time though the building's window.

Ryan turned around and looked in at him, meeting his gaze, and for a split second he thought he saw recognition go through his eyes. Maybe he too remembered that day all those years ago? But then an officer walked into him and he seemed to forget whatever he had been thinking about and continued walking away without glancing back.

But Horatio wasn't going to let him away again, even if he wasn't the boy he remembered. He was gas going to make sure that he'd get him back to the department. Although he had to admit that he kept thinking that if only he'd trusted him enough to tell the truth, things would've been a lot easier.

He recognized the stubbornness from Amanda, although she'd always known the line between being stubborn and being stupid, which was something Ryan clearly hadn't inherited

Horatio had noticed a lot of similarities between Ryan and his mother: they both took the job very seriously, they both fought for justice no matter what, they both didn't hesitate to use physical violence to get what they wanted, and they both had their problems with the OCD and the anger. Horatio had just like with Amanda covered for Ryan in many ways because of the last thing.

But there was also a lot of things he'd gotten from his father, like the selfishness he'd shown in the cases with the tax men getting killed (although he had to admit that at the time he'd been rather proud of Ryan for finding the "gun"), and his competitiveness. And even though he knew that gambling problems, unlike drinking and drug problems, couldn't get passed on genetically, he knew that it was from his father Ryan had gotten his gambling habits.

_Flashback_

"You took him to a strip club?" Amanda shouted to Graham who looked back at her rather calmly. Horatio stared between the two of them. He'd gotten there for dinner and found out that Ryan's father had stopped by and picked him up a few hour earlier. Amanda had been very tense during the whole dinner and had literally sprinted to door when they'd finally gotten back. Now Horatio was standing in the middle in one of their famous, loud arguments, trying to resist killing the man who'd hurt Amanda.

"I don't see what's so wrong with that? Guys love strip club." Graham responded casually.

"He's not one of your guy friends, he's a kid! And he's terrified!"

Horatio glanced at Ryan who was sitting rather stiffly on the floor, wearing the same expression on his face as the one Wilson had had the first time he saw a dead body. Sitting next to him was his older half-brother Tyler, who was trying to get him interested in playing with some cars, but he was unsuccessful. Not to far away from them his other half-brother, George, was trashing around with the toys looking rather bored.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I needed the girls to distract the men while they were playing." Graham shrugged.

"You took him out gambling?" Amanda's voice had turned to a new level of anger that he'd never heard before and he had never felt happier that he was on her good side.

"Yeah, poker. It was real fun. I was trying to learn him some tricks, but as you said; he's just a kid, so it didn't go too well. Plus, he got rather distracted by the girls."

"You tried to teach my three and a half years old son how to gamble, on a strip club." Horatio took a few steps back. He couldn't help but wonder if this particular level of anger was reserved just for Graham, because the scenes with Thomson and Kin were **nothing **compared to this.

"Yeah I did. Look, I don't get why you're so upset, Minnie never complains about me taking Tyler and George."

"Tyler and George are your sons and you and your wife can do whatever the hell you want with them, but this is **my** son, and I'm the one who's in charge of him. And I **do not** want you taking him out to work with your illegal business."

"He's my son too you know. Both of them are." he added and Horatio immediately saw the change in Amanda's body language. She seemed to calm down quickly and the anger got replaced by something that looked suspiciously like fear. But she covered it up quickly and he doubted that Graham had even noticed, although her anger didn't come back. "Where's the second one anyway. Alan or something."

"Adam." she said quietly.

"Adam, right. Where is he?"

"He's sick, I told you." she mumbled.

"Yeah, well, it was too bad. I'd really liked to take them both with me this time. Oh well, maybe next time. It's time for me to get going anyway. George, Tyler!" His sons immediately went over to him and he took them by the arms and left without even giving Ryan another glance.

"Adam's sick?" Horatio asked when he'd closed the door. Amanda avoided looking at him and went over to Ryan.

"Let's get you into bed." she said softly to her son and hurried away to his bedroom, leaving Horatio on his own. "Adam's sick?" he repeated to himself, trying to figure out what he'd missed. Adam was dead, not sick, he knew that, so why did she say he was sick?

She returned after about twenty minutes, still avoiding his gaze.

"Adam's sick?" he repeated again and she sighed.

"Remember when I told you about the custody agreement?"

"Yeah…" Like he could forget anything she told him.

"Well, the only reason he agreed to it was because I pointed out that his wife wouldn't want to take in a kid that wasn't hers, let alone **two **kids who weren't hers."

"But you don't have two kids."

"He doesn't know that. I might have, ehm, forgotten to mention it. And since Ryan's middle name **is **Adam I wasn't exactly lying in court when they asked me about my son Adam and I started talking about him." she bit her lower lip and gave him a nervous glance, as if she was afraid that he'd judge her.

"And he doesn't suspect anything?"

"You saw him Harry, does it look like he notices things like that?" she said skeptically.

"You've got a point. But don't you think he deserves to know? It's his son after all." She bit her lower lip again.

"Do **you** think that I should tell him?" she asked him anxiously. He looked at her, knowing that she did indeed feel bad for lying, and shook his head.

"Not if it means that he'll get custody over Ryan." he said. She looked relieved.

"Thanks, I really needed someone else except for Ron to agree to this." she mumbled and gave him a hug.

**I thought this chapter out when my friend said "So **this** is why Horatio rehired him after he screwed up." after reading the fic. She also asked me why people always end up beating each other up in my longer stories :P**

**I don't know if you remember but in chapter 3 I mentioned that the words "What if I've already met the woman I love?" brought back memories to Horatio. Well, in next chapter anyway, those memories are to be reveled : )**

***Just like with the flashback to "Under the influence" I watched this episode over and over again, but I still can't figure out exactly what she said there.**

**** English is just like I said not my first language and I've got no idea how to spell that word or what it means, but you guys have seen the episode and you get it, right?**

**Reviews?**


	13. Chapter 13

**How many times can you get a writer's block while writing a story? Well, I'm up to my third, and hopefully last.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

_Flashback_

"How come you always do that?" Carl said with awe when Horatio rejoined their table, holding up a napkin with a pretty blonde's phone number scribbled down on it.

"Do what?"

"Get a girls to want you so easily. All you have to do is to smile at a girl and then suddenly she's in your bed." Horatio couldn't help but to blush a little bit as he glanced over at Amanda who looked rather bored.

"It's a gift." he shrugged, feeling obliged to keep his act together. "Although it doesn't work every time."

"Oh really? When hasn't it worked?" Wilson asked skeptically. Horatio dared himself to throw Amanda another glance, but she didn't seem to be bothered at all by their conversation, which annoyed him a little bit.

"I guess it always works." he said at last.

"Well, care to help a brother out?" Ron said suddenly.

"To find a girl?"

"Yes, to find a girl, what else?"

Carl and Horatio glanced over at each other, both as confused as the other.

"I just thought, you know…" Carl started.

"You know what?"

"You know… That you played for the other team, kind of."

"What team? I don't play sports. I mean, I played some football in High School but…"

"No, I meant…"

"Just give up, it's a lost battle!" Amanda interrupted Wilson. "Just hook him up with that blonde you met earlier and get it over with." she added to Horatio. And as always when she said something he found himself immediately obliging and taking Ron with him to introduce him to the blonde he'd met earlier.

"What were you thinking?" Ron said when they were out of the other's hearing range.

"About what?"

"About bragging like that in front of Amanda. I thought you were in love with her or something."

"Wha… I… What?" Horatio spluttered. "I'm not in love with her!"

"Sure you are. It's obvious that you have more than a crush on her, and the thing that comes after having a crush is being in love. Or is there something in between?" He crooked his eyebrows. "I'm not sure, I don't really have the best love life going for me, if you know what I mean." Horatio just stared at him.

"What is wrong with you?" he said at last, having felt for asking that question for a very long time.

"A lot of people ask me that, but then Amanda's usually around to answer. She always gives the same answer though: 'He was dropped on my head when I was a baby'." he shrugged.

"Well, that explains a lot."

"People always say that too. But don't change the subject now, you have a thing for Amanda, no matter what it's called, and I can't allow you to burn your bridges with her through making it look like you're only interested in young supermodels."

"I don't…" he stopped when he saw the look on Ron's face "It's not like she even cares!"

"Of course she cares. Why do you think she wanted you to hook up with that blonde?"

"So you could get your love life going?"

"If she'd wanted that she could've just have asked you to hook me up with some random girl, but she asked for this specific one because she was the one who gave you her number, and if that girl would end up with me it meant she wouldn't end up with you, and for her that's a good thing."

"And how the hell did you figure that out?"

"I've known Amanda my entire life, I know how she thinks." Horatio stood there for a while deliberating.

"I don't think you've got it right." he said at last, feeling that he didn't want to get his hopes up. He and Amanda were friends, and that was something he'd simply have to deal with. "She and I are just friends." And that was what they'd forever be, unfortunately.

"Ok, suit yourself. But just so you know: you're really missing out. So now, back to that blonde..."

Horatio went over to Amanda, who was now sitting on her own, after managing to actually pair Ron up with that woman, although it had taken a lot of charm.

"Hey, where're the others?" he asked her.

"Jack and his wife are still dancing." they both looked over at their friend and his wife, who were moving slowly on the dance floor. "And Wilson just left. Apparently his sister freaks if he's not back home before a certain time."

"She's still that way?"

"These things take time, and she's actually a bit better now; she sleeps in her bed on her own instead of locking herself into the closet at nights or sleeping next to Carl."

"That's good, I guess." he said.

"It is!" she said loudly, wiggling out of her chair.

"Ok, you've obviously had one drink too many. Need a ride home?" He said and grabbed her around the waist.

"Why, don't you have some girl to go home with?" She said and gave him a dirty look.

"No, I hooked her up with Ron, remember?"

"Oh right." Was it just him or did she look happy? Maybe he was just seeing things because of what Ron said.

"So, do you need a ride or not?"

"Yeah, sure. I came here with Ron anyways and he probably took the car." She slid out of his grip and grabbed her bag. "After you."

-/-

"Ok, here you go Cece." Amanda said to the nanny while handing her some money.

"Thanks. Same time tomorrow?" Cece responded with a smile.

"Yeah. Bye for now."

"Bye Amanda, bye Horatio." She gave him a small flirty smile before walking out the door.

"I think she's got a thing for you." Amanda said when she'd closed the door.

"She's not my type."

"Really? Young, tall, blonde, isn't that just your type?" she said jokingly and went into the living room.

"I actually prefer brunettes. Not because looks matter." he added quickly as he followed her.

"Of course not." she said skeptically and rolled her eyes. "But seriously though, why isn't she your type?"

"Well, she's sweet and hot and all, but I've dated way to many girls like her and I've gotten bored." he shrugged. "Why? Are you trying to fix me up with someone?"

"No, I'm just curious. What do you mean with girls like her?"

"Girls that I can't see any future with."

"Don't worry, you'll meet your girl."

"My girl?"

"You know, the girl you love."

"What if I've already met the girl I love?" Without really knowing what came over him he put his hand on her chin before he closed the space between them and pressed his lips against hers.

**Too fast?**

**Two more quick questions:**

**1. Would it bother anyone if the next chapter had some rather adult themes?**

**2. Is it necessary to change the rating to M if there's adult themes for just one chapter or can you just put warnings before and after the special part?**

**Reviews!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm sorry that I haven't written for so long. I've had some personal issues and it didn't leave that much time for me to write. **

**I started to write bits and pieces of this chapter right after the last one but ended the whole thing just recently, which is why it might be a little change of mood/writing here and there. Also, it's probably not as cheerful and loving as I intended it to be at first and the adult scene is pretty much cut because I just haven't been on top of my game for a while. Although writing is making me feel considerably better : ).**

**Disclaimer: You know it already.**

_Flashback_

Horatio entered the NYPD with a big grin on his face. He couldn't remember ever feeling better in his life.

He had kissed Amanda Wolfe, the girl of his dreams, and she'd kissed him back. Sure, she'd literally kicked him our of her house one second later, but that didn't matter. What did matter was that she'd kissed him back, which meant that she on some level felt the same way about him that he felt about her.

"Why are you so happy this morning?" O'Connell asked him in the locker room. "Was the blonde really that good?"

"No, didn't you hear? I hooked her up with Ron." Horatio responded.

"Then why are you so happy?"

"Really? That's what you're wondering about? What about the fact that Ron hooked up with a woman? Doesn't that surprise you at least a little bit?"

"It's Ron, he does what he feels like. Plus, the thing with him liking guys is very likely to be just a rumor, nobody really knows."

"I bet you do."

"I'll tell you if you tell me why you're so happy."

"I think I'll keep it to myself. It's nice to know something you don't." Horatio gave him a playful smile before closing his locker and leaving the room.

"Okay, there's been a murder downtown. Wilson, Caine and Ron, you guys go down there. O'Connell, the victim's wife is coming in soon. Talk to her and see if you can get anything." Amanda didn't even glance at Horatio, who was still smiling broadly, while she was talking.

"What about you?" Horatio asked. She quickly looked at him before turning her back against him, but not before he could se that she was blushing slightly.

"I'll have to stay here, I've got some paperwork. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me and…"

"You look tired Wolfe." Horatio interrupted. "Did something happen yesterday that kept you up?" Wilson and O'Connell gave him confused looks, while Ron looked just as out of it as ever. Amanda looked over at him again but this time there wasn't even a hint of a blush.

"Know what Caine, you can stay behind a little while, I need to talk to you. The rest of you can go ahead without him." The others glanced at him worriedly before leaving, but he just gave them all a confident smile. "Let's get into my office." He went after her into her office and closed the door behind them. "As I said, we need to talk…" He interrupted her by once again surprising her by coming up to her and kissing her. This time she was much faster on pushing him away. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing?" he answered with a smile, getting closer to her again.

"Back off." she said angrily but he didn't move, which led her to take a few steps back instead. "You need to stop this."

"Why? You like it, which is why you kissed me back last night."

"I was caught by surprise and it was a natural response. It didn't mean anything." she was suddenly avoiding eye contact with him.

"Come on, we both know you're lying." he took one step closer, and she took another step away from him.

"You know this is counted as sexual harassment. I could report you and you would get fired." She suddenly seemed a little hesitant, and her usual confidence seemed to be gone.

"Then why don't you? I won't deny it if you do and I'll happily take my punishment. Because, you see, I love you, and now that I know that you feel the same way back, I won't stop until I have you. Even if it costs me my job." This time she didn't back away when he came closer. He put his hand under her chin and pushed it up slightly so that she would look at him.

"I'm your boss, you work for me, we can't…" There was a knock on the door and Horatio and Amanda quickly jumped apart. She ran her hand through her hair and in less than a second her face got it's normal, stern expression back.

"Come in." she called and a young officer came inside.

"Morris wants to see you in his office ma'am."

"Okay, I'll be right there. I'll finish this conversation with you later Caine, you should get down to the scene."

"Yes ma'am." he gave her a soft smile and then left her office to joining his team members at the crime scene.

-/-

Horatio knocked on Amanda's front door and she opened it quickly. She was still wearing her work clothes but her hair was out and she wasn't wearing any socks, so he assumed she'd been in the middle of changing when his knock interrupted her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him surprised when she saw him.

"You said we'd finish the conversation later but we never did, so I thought I'd come by. Aren't you going to invite me in?"

"Come on in." She stepped aside and let him in and then he followed her into the kitchen.

"Funny, how we always seem to end up here." Horatio commented and looked at her.

"Ryan is asleep and this is the room furthest away from his so he won't get waken up by hearing our voices."

"Ah." An uncomfortable silence lowered over them.

"About last night, and earlier today…" Amanda started, while avoiding looking at him.

"What about it?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Horatio asked surprised. "Pushing me away?"

"No, for leading you on. I never meant to make you think that I had romantic feelings towards you."

"Yeah, you see, you say that. But your actions say something else." he went closer to her but she didn't seem to notice.

"My actions like me pushing you away?"

"After kissing me back."

"I told you; I was caught by surprise, I didn't mean to…"

"Stop, just stop. Save it to someone who hasn't worked with you long enough to know when you're lying." he went closer to her. "I know you like me."

"Of course I like you. You're one of my best friend, you're practically like a brother…"

"Not like that. I mean you like me, like me. You want me, just like I want you." He went closer to her and once again she was trapped against the fridge, only this time she seemed to be more afraid of herself than him.

"That's not…"

"Come on Amanda, just give it up. We both know it's true." he said confidently, but she kept looking away.

"Okay, let's assume it was true, which I'm not saying it is." Horatio couldn't help but give a short laugh, which she ignored. "There are still things that speak against us."

"Which are?"

"We work together. I'm your boss, and any office romances are completely against the rules."

"So we don't tell anyone at work that we're together. It can be our little secret."

"It's still highly unethical…"

"Since when have you cared about that? You do unethical stuff all the time."

"Okay, fine. But there are other things."

"Like what?"

"I'm older than you."

"I don't care. What else."

"Harry, I'm serious. You deserve someone in your own age who can love you and…"

"I don't want someone in my own age, I want you. And you're not that much older than me anyways, so what's the big deal?"

"I… I've got a kid. Are you sure you're up to something like that?"

"Really, that's the best you've got? I baby sit your kid all the time. I love him, and he loves me, and I am more than up to taking care of him with you."

"But…" She got quiet; she was completely out of things to say, and the fact that he was standing so goddamned close didn't make matters any better.

"But what?" he leaned in and tried to capture her lips with his, but she turned away.

"I don't…" she started, but then she got quiet again.

"Want me? You don't want me." She didn't answer. "Then say it." She remained silent. "Say the word and I'll leave, and I'll pretend that none of this ever happened, and we can continue being just friends. I'll do it, but you have to say it."

She stood there silently for a while. At last she looked up at him and for the first time looked him straight in the eyes.

"Say it." he said again, but she remained quiet, and his smile came back. He leaned in to kiss her again, and this time she didn't turn away. Instead started kissing him back. He sensed the heat rise between them and let his left hand get entangled in her brown hair while the other one went down her back under her blouse, and he heard her gasp slightly when he touched her skin, getting him to smile even wider into the kiss. His hand went up and with a trained finger he got up the clasps of her bra in one try, but apparently that wasn't the right thing to do because she immediately broke the kiss. "What, what's wrong?" he asked her slightly breathless. "Too fast?"

"No, it's not that." Horatio immediately felt his pants tightening at the thought that she didn't seem to have anything against what he wanted to do, but he quickly calmed himself down when he saw her insecure look. "It's just that I haven't… Not since Graham…" she got quiet and looked away. He put his hand on her cheek and carefully caressed it.

"I'll be careful I promise." he said softly. She looked back into his eyes and slowly nodded her approval. He brought her back against him and gave her a deep kiss.

The kiss quickly got hot and Horatio suddenly found himself fighting for dominance, and losing. He broke free from her and managed to pant out "Bedroom?" She nodded again and he quickly took her hand and led her to her bedroom, the only place in the house he'd never been in, although he had imagined the way it looked many times. And to his surprise, it looked a lot like it had in his mind; everything was neat and clean and everything seemed to be either sorted by color or, in her perfumes case, size. It was just as clean her office, unlike the rest of the house, because let's face it; it's not that easy to keep a house in order when a kid is running around in it, even when the kid is as unusually organized as Ryan. He felt Amanda wrapping her arm around him and kissing him up his neck.

"What are you thinking?" she whispered in his ear before nibbling it, sending a chill down his spine.

"That I love you." he smiled and brought her lips back to his, kissing her hungrily, his hands starting to unbutton her blouse.

**And that's it for now. A bit shorter than I'd originally planned but it's the best I could do under the circumstances.**

**As always: RnR away! :D**


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